Nov 17

How is it 17th already???  I don't get it, where did it all go?

I had a lovely Sabbath.  Went to Central church and Jim kept me company, so nice of him! The person I was going to talk to wasn't there, but I got a contact info, and aparently they know about me already.  :)  Got home little late, around 2pm actually because I we were talking, and I wanted to make the afternoon concert.  Tough, because when I was making my green wrap, Irina, my other roomie came and started spilling her love problems again :)  So we talked and she asked about mine, she knows my story and where I am right now, maaaan, it's not easy being a girl in these messed up times! 
Of course I was late for the concert, but on my way in I met Jim again, and he was so kind, showed me around, decided to stick around for the concert and we got to talk more afterwards.  This is it, I'm happiest when I'm in good, positive and fun people's company.  Dear God, I want to meet half Californiaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


I sound like some socially deprived case.... LOL! :)


Anyway, I've been in touch with this guy who wants to come and look at the dining set (and possibly buy it) but by now I think he's upset with me.  It's hard to keep in touch with these time zones, I get home too late to call him and he keeps calling in the wrongest times! And I've got to communicate with my brother, who actually holds the set for me.  It's been one big of a mess,I hope I can pull it off. 



And I'm double back on my knees: my parents are being attacked by satan left and right, constant struggles and problems they're been encountering... and now this!  Dad was gonna have a sermon on the end times and secret societies in Lidzbark Warmninski, but so happened that yesterday somebody asked him to help him chop some wood.  I don't know why dad ended up on a ladder, but he fell off it and broke his leg. Rigth before that very Sabbath that he was gonna preach.  On top of that, they were going from town to town and nobody would help dad!  So sad, but that's idiotic Polish reality.  Praise God they finally found some hospital and dad will have a surgery on monday.  But now come to think on it, what if satan was trying to actually really really injure dad, and heavenly angels softened the fall so that only  a leg was broken?  I praise God it was only  a leg!!!!!!  And Pete (who I got the info from, I can't call parents anymore, no money... ) said dad will preach the sermon anyway :)  Truly praise God!


I really want to talk to someone... to unload my frustration.  I see it, and it scares me a bit, because the unresolved past keeps killing anything good that I may/may have or could/could have ever have/had for Big Brother. And it keeps going away and away, little by little.... Like a plant, unwatered, uncultivated, left alone and unattended it starts withering away.  I've been reading Christ's Object Lessons and two days ago I came to a chapter on forgiveness.  Is that my issue?  Maybe I just am not able to forgive?  And this hurts everything, including the job.  Jesus never asked for 'I'm sorry', He forgave.  I just don't know where I am with that, but I can't get rid of the hurt, it never left, and not it turns to anger.  So I've been praying, for help with that, God taught me how to push it away, but sometimes it comes back.  But even pushed away, it never leaves.  It craves resolution, explanation, understanding, closure.  And only one person in the world can give it.