I think I've reached a breaking point. In everything!
I don't know anymore, I don't know what to do and how to get a job anymore. I feel stupid and helpless. I feel like I'm one big nothing, and no matter what I do, it just doesn't work. I can spend hours, and I'm still back where I started. Nothing seems to work. I may really end up under a bridge. Don't visit me there, I'll be too embarassed.
I pray for Divine Patience each time I enter the kitchen here. This man tops everything I've ever seen, he even tops some of my college roomies, and that's something.
I think I had forgiveness issues. For Big Brother. Because, as I searched my heart and asked God to show me, all the anger and frustrations have dissapeared. Replaced by measured and controlled wisdom, understanding and yet not foolishness. Finally, principles took over. Total emotional detachment.
Indifference, whateverness. No, not that. Never that.
Stiff fingers, either from post RA trauma or from cold. Who can help me get up at 7am? I can't seem to be able to pour freezing water on my own face... I forgot my laudry again, it's in the washer. Again. I'm going mad!
Something's gotta give, or I'll start punching walls soon.
Need to stay sane, at least tomorrow. Going to Thanksgiving dinner at Lesya's. Something lovely to look forward to. :)
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Nov 19
Many wonderful things happened today :) It's always a good day when you start it with Jesus :)
1. I got an e-mail from someone from Amazing Facts, saying that I can meet with them to see what I'd like to volunteer with. Yeay, we'll see what happens with that - can't be too happy yet.
2. Got another e-mail from that dude about the dining set. He wants to buy it :) Yeay!!! He'll pick it up at Pete's early December for his new house. I can't believe how much this is going to help me!!! But it makes me think as well... firstly, I'm a bit overwhelmed at the amount of money God sent my way, just to provide for my move and overall... all together I could almost buy another new Toyota Yaris with it.. wow!!! God is sooo good. And now, as I'm on a verge of running out of money He sends another couple of thousands my way... But does that mean that I'll be without a job for another while???? I'm nobody to say how God works, but I know that He provides, one way or another, if not with a job, then with money, He said I won't go hungry... and I know sometimes I think more about photography, music, art and everything else more than about getting a job, but I'm really really really trying... the search itself, the cover letters, the descriptions and demands, they all overwhelm me sometimes... And lately, as I pray, I got into just wondering and asking what's the purpose of it all, what's going on, what's the reason that I'm still unemployed, it's a journely alright but do I need to do something? Do I need to search my heart? Do I need to change something about myself, or be somewhere before I get a job, meet someone... all these things just run through my head, and I ask for answers, but it's not the answers God wants to give me, but more faith, and patience, and submitting to His will at His time.
3. I went to Job One again and signed up for one on one coaching. I was most displeased with it! It's a church ran ministry, and they give you the option to volunteer there if you'd like. Each Monday morning starts with 15-20 minutes devotions, one person leading it for about 30-50 people, so I said I'd like to do a devotions too, and they weren't too keen on letting me. Hmmm... that's one thing. Back to the coaching, I had ten thousand questions and needed some real time professional advice (because I really am pretty lost at this job search thing, I mean, I feel like I don't even know what I'm doing anymore...). So this woman, she clearly didn't even know how to listen. I ask a question on which orientation I put on my card and she goes off on where I can get them. I know where I can get them, I can make them myself if I want to... or I ask which direction I should go because I have so many interests, and she goes off on about how interesting my life's journey is... I mean really! And then she starts on religion, how I really should do devotions, and trust God... all is well, but she never even asked if I'm a Christian, I may have been a buddist or a muslim, I told her I do read my Bible and do my devotions but she wouldn't listen and started shoving me one of the mainstream protestant devotions that I really don't care about. At the end I just gave up on getting any professional help, thanked her and took that wretched book. Maybe next time I see her I can give her one of my devotions, and we'll be square :) --------------> actually no. 3 is not one of the wonderful things that happened today...
4. But I got a brainwave today and I'm pretty excited about it. The organizer for one of my photography groups stepped down and the whole group will dissolve if somebody doesn't step up as an organizer and a leader. So I realllllllyyyyyy got a brainwave!!!! :) But I know nothing about booking models, make up artists and contacting venues. So I sent e-mails to few people, leaders of other photo groups, as well as that former one that stepped down. I think nobody wants to share their secrets because nobody replied, except the one that just left. So I started learning how to do things. I love organizing, I've organized church events before and I really enjoy making things happen. And I have so many ideas for shoots!!! Maaaan!!! I was to do a b/w one, a winter wonderland, one all about health (with all the fruits, veggies and greens to model with, man, fun!), woodland warriors one, cowgirl extravaganza (already am friends with one model who has access to horses!!) and whatever else my brain comes up with... We can do day trips to Tahoe, and shoots by the ocean.. once I learn a bit of California that is. It isn't all that fun traveling by yourself... Anyway, I'm still thinking about it, and apparently one can make a tiny bit of money off it too. I gotta sleep on it.
I'm still struggling with Martin, must be doing something wrong cuz the pain now goes up my whole arm and can't do much after a whle. My hand runs a bit smoother nonetheless. I'm sick of pain!
1. I got an e-mail from someone from Amazing Facts, saying that I can meet with them to see what I'd like to volunteer with. Yeay, we'll see what happens with that - can't be too happy yet.
2. Got another e-mail from that dude about the dining set. He wants to buy it :) Yeay!!! He'll pick it up at Pete's early December for his new house. I can't believe how much this is going to help me!!! But it makes me think as well... firstly, I'm a bit overwhelmed at the amount of money God sent my way, just to provide for my move and overall... all together I could almost buy another new Toyota Yaris with it.. wow!!! God is sooo good. And now, as I'm on a verge of running out of money He sends another couple of thousands my way... But does that mean that I'll be without a job for another while???? I'm nobody to say how God works, but I know that He provides, one way or another, if not with a job, then with money, He said I won't go hungry... and I know sometimes I think more about photography, music, art and everything else more than about getting a job, but I'm really really really trying... the search itself, the cover letters, the descriptions and demands, they all overwhelm me sometimes... And lately, as I pray, I got into just wondering and asking what's the purpose of it all, what's going on, what's the reason that I'm still unemployed, it's a journely alright but do I need to do something? Do I need to search my heart? Do I need to change something about myself, or be somewhere before I get a job, meet someone... all these things just run through my head, and I ask for answers, but it's not the answers God wants to give me, but more faith, and patience, and submitting to His will at His time.
3. I went to Job One again and signed up for one on one coaching. I was most displeased with it! It's a church ran ministry, and they give you the option to volunteer there if you'd like. Each Monday morning starts with 15-20 minutes devotions, one person leading it for about 30-50 people, so I said I'd like to do a devotions too, and they weren't too keen on letting me. Hmmm... that's one thing. Back to the coaching, I had ten thousand questions and needed some real time professional advice (because I really am pretty lost at this job search thing, I mean, I feel like I don't even know what I'm doing anymore...). So this woman, she clearly didn't even know how to listen. I ask a question on which orientation I put on my card and she goes off on where I can get them. I know where I can get them, I can make them myself if I want to... or I ask which direction I should go because I have so many interests, and she goes off on about how interesting my life's journey is... I mean really! And then she starts on religion, how I really should do devotions, and trust God... all is well, but she never even asked if I'm a Christian, I may have been a buddist or a muslim, I told her I do read my Bible and do my devotions but she wouldn't listen and started shoving me one of the mainstream protestant devotions that I really don't care about. At the end I just gave up on getting any professional help, thanked her and took that wretched book. Maybe next time I see her I can give her one of my devotions, and we'll be square :) --------------> actually no. 3 is not one of the wonderful things that happened today...
4. But I got a brainwave today and I'm pretty excited about it. The organizer for one of my photography groups stepped down and the whole group will dissolve if somebody doesn't step up as an organizer and a leader. So I realllllllyyyyyy got a brainwave!!!! :) But I know nothing about booking models, make up artists and contacting venues. So I sent e-mails to few people, leaders of other photo groups, as well as that former one that stepped down. I think nobody wants to share their secrets because nobody replied, except the one that just left. So I started learning how to do things. I love organizing, I've organized church events before and I really enjoy making things happen. And I have so many ideas for shoots!!! Maaaan!!! I was to do a b/w one, a winter wonderland, one all about health (with all the fruits, veggies and greens to model with, man, fun!), woodland warriors one, cowgirl extravaganza (already am friends with one model who has access to horses!!) and whatever else my brain comes up with... We can do day trips to Tahoe, and shoots by the ocean.. once I learn a bit of California that is. It isn't all that fun traveling by yourself... Anyway, I'm still thinking about it, and apparently one can make a tiny bit of money off it too. I gotta sleep on it.
I'm still struggling with Martin, must be doing something wrong cuz the pain now goes up my whole arm and can't do much after a whle. My hand runs a bit smoother nonetheless. I'm sick of pain!
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Nov 18
Went running :) Legs screamed in protest the first lap, but it felt good. I ran with music today and most of the run I watched an amazing movie of me playing guitar and banjo in a great country band, doing a gig in sac. :) I even sang one song!
Easy, quiet day, was gonna go to the fish hatchery but it looked rainy... played with Martin today, maaaan, my hand joints hurt and my pinky gets stuck and just won't bend. It's an uphill battle now but I'll get there. I'll beat my fingers into submission if I have to!
I lifted, I searched and applied to jobs, talked with Pete - the dude came to see the dining set and likes it. Wants to buy it but of course, wants me to lower the price because there are few nicks here and there. I prayed about the price and decided to drop it 300 for him as my final asking price. If he takes that, maaaan, it'll help me financially so much! My resources here are dwindling fast, and with no job right now it'll help me out for next two months, if, IF I live pretty tightly.
I still can't get over avocados... I devour them, my body craves them... and the co op store in sac has them - organic mind you - for 79 cents a piece! Ha, compare that to 1.50 a piece for conventionally grown, in PA. :) For that alone I love California!!! :)
I think my patience cup with Dick and this place is filling up. And yet I know, I know that I'm here for a reason! Could it be Rolan??? He said he'll call me back this week. It was nothing short of miracle how I got this place, and yet..... the house is almost always cold! COLD!!! My room has no heating. My room is tiny, pretty awkward too.. but I do have a bed to sleep on, a ghetto desk and a chair, aaand a dresser, and Dick made me a closet before I came... but the house is always, ALWAYS filthy!!!! If I don't hit the vacum, nobody ever vacums. There are leaves from outside on the floor. When Dick drops something, he never bothers to pick it up. There are receipt under the table from two weeks ago. His disgusting dirty frying pan sits there for nearly a week... It seems it's only me that sweeps and washes the kitchen floor because nobody else will do it, my roomies refuse to be Dicks house cleaners, which I understand, but Dick thinks that because he rents to women, they'll take care of the inside of the house (like his wife used to I'm sure!!) and he'll do the outside. Problem is he does neither. Sometimes we lose electricty, last time it was because he didn't pay on time. Kim had to lend him the money to pay. I'm too disgusted to touch anything in the kitchen unless I wipe it clean first. Dick will cut meat right on the counter and leave the disgusting bits just lying around for days!!!! We all have to clean up after him. He eats other people's food without asking, and then gets upset that we actually did mind it! He won't buy any paper towels but uses mine if I leave it standing, he wipes his sweaty face in kitchen towels and leaves it for others to use (yuck!), only me and Kim clean the stove top, and the fridge stinks, no matter if I clean it or not!!!! Ayayay!!!!! One time I took out my glass dish to bake potatoes in it, and Dick dripped his wine all over it and left it like that, not bothering to clean up... :( His living room is filthy again, but I won't clean it up for him again. Nobody goes there but him. But I'm glad for the washer and dryer. And the fact that I can wash and vacum my car anytime I want...
What to do? For now I'm here, God provides, I have bed, roof over my head, clothes and food, working car with gas in it, internet (mostly!) and phone, my Cannon, Martin, my books, somehow I still pay my bills.. I'm not in pain. I can go running. God is good! Can't really complain :)
Easy, quiet day, was gonna go to the fish hatchery but it looked rainy... played with Martin today, maaaan, my hand joints hurt and my pinky gets stuck and just won't bend. It's an uphill battle now but I'll get there. I'll beat my fingers into submission if I have to!
I lifted, I searched and applied to jobs, talked with Pete - the dude came to see the dining set and likes it. Wants to buy it but of course, wants me to lower the price because there are few nicks here and there. I prayed about the price and decided to drop it 300 for him as my final asking price. If he takes that, maaaan, it'll help me financially so much! My resources here are dwindling fast, and with no job right now it'll help me out for next two months, if, IF I live pretty tightly.
I still can't get over avocados... I devour them, my body craves them... and the co op store in sac has them - organic mind you - for 79 cents a piece! Ha, compare that to 1.50 a piece for conventionally grown, in PA. :) For that alone I love California!!! :)
I think my patience cup with Dick and this place is filling up. And yet I know, I know that I'm here for a reason! Could it be Rolan??? He said he'll call me back this week. It was nothing short of miracle how I got this place, and yet..... the house is almost always cold! COLD!!! My room has no heating. My room is tiny, pretty awkward too.. but I do have a bed to sleep on, a ghetto desk and a chair, aaand a dresser, and Dick made me a closet before I came... but the house is always, ALWAYS filthy!!!! If I don't hit the vacum, nobody ever vacums. There are leaves from outside on the floor. When Dick drops something, he never bothers to pick it up. There are receipt under the table from two weeks ago. His disgusting dirty frying pan sits there for nearly a week... It seems it's only me that sweeps and washes the kitchen floor because nobody else will do it, my roomies refuse to be Dicks house cleaners, which I understand, but Dick thinks that because he rents to women, they'll take care of the inside of the house (like his wife used to I'm sure!!) and he'll do the outside. Problem is he does neither. Sometimes we lose electricty, last time it was because he didn't pay on time. Kim had to lend him the money to pay. I'm too disgusted to touch anything in the kitchen unless I wipe it clean first. Dick will cut meat right on the counter and leave the disgusting bits just lying around for days!!!! We all have to clean up after him. He eats other people's food without asking, and then gets upset that we actually did mind it! He won't buy any paper towels but uses mine if I leave it standing, he wipes his sweaty face in kitchen towels and leaves it for others to use (yuck!), only me and Kim clean the stove top, and the fridge stinks, no matter if I clean it or not!!!! Ayayay!!!!! One time I took out my glass dish to bake potatoes in it, and Dick dripped his wine all over it and left it like that, not bothering to clean up... :( His living room is filthy again, but I won't clean it up for him again. Nobody goes there but him. But I'm glad for the washer and dryer. And the fact that I can wash and vacum my car anytime I want...
What to do? For now I'm here, God provides, I have bed, roof over my head, clothes and food, working car with gas in it, internet (mostly!) and phone, my Cannon, Martin, my books, somehow I still pay my bills.. I'm not in pain. I can go running. God is good! Can't really complain :)
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Nov 17
How is it 17th already??? I don't get it, where did it all go?
I had a lovely Sabbath. Went to Central church and Jim kept me company, so nice of him! The person I was going to talk to wasn't there, but I got a contact info, and aparently they know about me already. :) Got home little late, around 2pm actually because I we were talking, and I wanted to make the afternoon concert. Tough, because when I was making my green wrap, Irina, my other roomie came and started spilling her love problems again :) So we talked and she asked about mine, she knows my story and where I am right now, maaaan, it's not easy being a girl in these messed up times!
Of course I was late for the concert, but on my way in I met Jim again, and he was so kind, showed me around, decided to stick around for the concert and we got to talk more afterwards. This is it, I'm happiest when I'm in good, positive and fun people's company. Dear God, I want to meet half Californiaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sound like some socially deprived case.... LOL! :)
Anyway, I've been in touch with this guy who wants to come and look at the dining set (and possibly buy it) but by now I think he's upset with me. It's hard to keep in touch with these time zones, I get home too late to call him and he keeps calling in the wrongest times! And I've got to communicate with my brother, who actually holds the set for me. It's been one big of a mess,I hope I can pull it off.
And I'm double back on my knees: my parents are being attacked by satan left and right, constant struggles and problems they're been encountering... and now this! Dad was gonna have a sermon on the end times and secret societies in Lidzbark Warmninski, but so happened that yesterday somebody asked him to help him chop some wood. I don't know why dad ended up on a ladder, but he fell off it and broke his leg. Rigth before that very Sabbath that he was gonna preach. On top of that, they were going from town to town and nobody would help dad! So sad, but that's idiotic Polish reality. Praise God they finally found some hospital and dad will have a surgery on monday. But now come to think on it, what if satan was trying to actually really really injure dad, and heavenly angels softened the fall so that only a leg was broken? I praise God it was only a leg!!!!!! And Pete (who I got the info from, I can't call parents anymore, no money... ) said dad will preach the sermon anyway :) Truly praise God!
I really want to talk to someone... to unload my frustration. I see it, and it scares me a bit, because the unresolved past keeps killing anything good that I may/may have or could/could have ever have/had for Big Brother. And it keeps going away and away, little by little.... Like a plant, unwatered, uncultivated, left alone and unattended it starts withering away. I've been reading Christ's Object Lessons and two days ago I came to a chapter on forgiveness. Is that my issue? Maybe I just am not able to forgive? And this hurts everything, including the job. Jesus never asked for 'I'm sorry', He forgave. I just don't know where I am with that, but I can't get rid of the hurt, it never left, and not it turns to anger. So I've been praying, for help with that, God taught me how to push it away, but sometimes it comes back. But even pushed away, it never leaves. It craves resolution, explanation, understanding, closure. And only one person in the world can give it.
I had a lovely Sabbath. Went to Central church and Jim kept me company, so nice of him! The person I was going to talk to wasn't there, but I got a contact info, and aparently they know about me already. :) Got home little late, around 2pm actually because I we were talking, and I wanted to make the afternoon concert. Tough, because when I was making my green wrap, Irina, my other roomie came and started spilling her love problems again :) So we talked and she asked about mine, she knows my story and where I am right now, maaaan, it's not easy being a girl in these messed up times!
Of course I was late for the concert, but on my way in I met Jim again, and he was so kind, showed me around, decided to stick around for the concert and we got to talk more afterwards. This is it, I'm happiest when I'm in good, positive and fun people's company. Dear God, I want to meet half Californiaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sound like some socially deprived case.... LOL! :)
Anyway, I've been in touch with this guy who wants to come and look at the dining set (and possibly buy it) but by now I think he's upset with me. It's hard to keep in touch with these time zones, I get home too late to call him and he keeps calling in the wrongest times! And I've got to communicate with my brother, who actually holds the set for me. It's been one big of a mess,I hope I can pull it off.
And I'm double back on my knees: my parents are being attacked by satan left and right, constant struggles and problems they're been encountering... and now this! Dad was gonna have a sermon on the end times and secret societies in Lidzbark Warmninski, but so happened that yesterday somebody asked him to help him chop some wood. I don't know why dad ended up on a ladder, but he fell off it and broke his leg. Rigth before that very Sabbath that he was gonna preach. On top of that, they were going from town to town and nobody would help dad! So sad, but that's idiotic Polish reality. Praise God they finally found some hospital and dad will have a surgery on monday. But now come to think on it, what if satan was trying to actually really really injure dad, and heavenly angels softened the fall so that only a leg was broken? I praise God it was only a leg!!!!!! And Pete (who I got the info from, I can't call parents anymore, no money... ) said dad will preach the sermon anyway :) Truly praise God!
I really want to talk to someone... to unload my frustration. I see it, and it scares me a bit, because the unresolved past keeps killing anything good that I may/may have or could/could have ever have/had for Big Brother. And it keeps going away and away, little by little.... Like a plant, unwatered, uncultivated, left alone and unattended it starts withering away. I've been reading Christ's Object Lessons and two days ago I came to a chapter on forgiveness. Is that my issue? Maybe I just am not able to forgive? And this hurts everything, including the job. Jesus never asked for 'I'm sorry', He forgave. I just don't know where I am with that, but I can't get rid of the hurt, it never left, and not it turns to anger. So I've been praying, for help with that, God taught me how to push it away, but sometimes it comes back. But even pushed away, it never leaves. It craves resolution, explanation, understanding, closure. And only one person in the world can give it.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Nov 16
Being a single girl in a new state, and without family around sure ain't easy. But when I look at where I've been, and what I went through, the pain and literal hell on earth, and how God brought me through it, and then how He provided, took care of and lead me all the way here, when I think of all I went through this year I know that God will keep on leading me on. He won't leave me nor forsake me. He'll provide. And He'll give me strength to keep on going. No matter how hard it gets.
I had a job offer. Full time and pretty decent pay for starters. But they required me to work Friday nights, and that's God's Sabbath, from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. I can't break God's commandments. They asked me to 'rethink' the Sabbath, but I can't break God's commandments. Period. God's been too good to me to disobey. And that's not even a reason. So I'm back to square one, still looking for a job. I don't regret the decision, I never would!!! Just the other day I was reading The Ministry of Healing, and it said that God has thousands of ways to provide for us, of which we know nothing!!! But sometimes He waits, so that His will be done and He'll be glorified. That gave much such courage, and increased my faith in God, knowing that in His time, He'll place me right where I belong. He knows my heart more than I know it myself. And that's beautiful!
Been playing with Martin a lot, to the poin that I had to stop. My fingers were ready to blister. But I'll pick him up tomorrow. My tuner and strap finally came so I could tune him more properly. Wish he could talk. I miss talking with Jennifer, so very much, it always used to put my head straight. The moment I get a job, I'll set up an appointment with her!!!! But now I don't even have anybody to talk to, and I mean anybody to unload about Big Brother. And job issues. I talk to Jesus a lot :) I like it so much!!!! But I still wish Martin would talk. Or at least listen with understanding. :)
I am slowly making new, beautiful friends here. God knew what He was doing by putting them on my path, Linda and Ed especially, they're like family to me! But I'm hungry for more!!!! :):):) And I want to eat now!!! :D I'm excited about tomorrow, I wonder what will happen. I want to wiggle my way into the media ministry in central, I want to be behind a camera so badly!!!! Last time I was there I had hard time concentrating, was watching this girl behind the jib arm all the time, couldn't stop. It's like a whole new world there, moving pictures, something so beyond me, fascinating!!! It almost eats me up! :)
This past Monday I went to Job One, a career services ran by some church; Big Mama told me about it about two weeks ago, and I so wish I went two weeks ago. It was sooooo good! From 8:30 till 4pm non stop something's going on, from classes, sessions, comp learning, mock interview practices, one on one training, resume workshops... incredible! I met so many lovely people...!!! First half day was orientation for new members (I had to pay one time fee for the materials and handouts) and then after lunch I went to an amazing skill assesment seminar. Really really incredible!!!!! And it was all hands on, we were doing the work and activities in small groups (with total strangers that are like you, looking for a job, but friends very soon!!!), the instructor had little to do, LOL :) I've learned so much! Now I understand why my resume sending out doesn't really work. I understood how networking is the key to getting a job and how to find those hidden jobs. And I got an insight that in reality, there are many many jobs out there, just the process of looking for a job has changed dramatically over the last few years, mainly due to the economy. I still don't know exacly how to go about getting a job, buuuut! All in God's hands; and in the meanwhile, I'll be back to Job One this Monday - it happens every Monday, alwasy with different activities. I'm so grateful that Big Mama told me about it!!!!!!
Big Brother. I had to make some decisions. I read this amazing book 'Boundaries' (ironically suggested to by Big Brother, but I can see how it can help him big time - knowing that little bit of his personality) and suddenly I began to understand something. Something, that I believe will help me tremendously. It may not help with the hurt I still feel - that's where talking to a friend steps in, and eventually, clearning it out. But I realized how I made a huuuuuuge mistake by allowing myself to see and talk to him. Even in such innocent situations as going down to BV. So. I was left heartbroken. Anybody would. I hurt and couldn't deal with it. Pain. But all he did was to give me a list of reasons (excuses) on why he acted that way and that's it. And from then on went acting as if nothing happened. Now. This is unacceptable. There are consequences to every action. How will he learn that that was beyond hurtful and immature? Especially if I feed into it, fueled by my own desires and feelings? I kicked him out of my FB friends. Right now, he does not deserve to be there. He doesn't deserve to see me, whether he has any feelings left or not. I made a resolution to not go down to BV for the next graduation (oooh, how much I want to do that though, for the testimonies... ayayayay!!!!) either. He will not see me until he clears out the old rubbish lying around. He needs to understand what he did and why it was hurtful, and understand to not do this again, to any other girl that may come his way, and to tell me, straight in my face, with understanding that he's sorry. Because he never even bothered to apologize. And I want a clearance on where he is right now, so I can move on. Left or right, but move on.
Good plan! :)
EDIT: Ooooooooh, one more thing!!!!!!!!!!! All the sucking up he does, makes me sick! I don't care if he comments on other people's posts, but such sucking up to that actress-wanna-be-or-whatever-she-is-who-cares with his pathetic 'hugs' and 'beautiful hearts'.... he can go and have her heart if it's so beautiful, wanking after another pretty face, repeating same broken phrases to her!!!!!! I can see it, like a dog with a waggin' tail between his legs, makes me soooooo sick!!!!!!!! Such MALE! Does he bother comment on any of my pics? No, not even 'that's ugly' or whatever, but hankering after almost every one of her posts and pics. I think I'm gonna puke, right on my laptop all over his and her face! If her heart is so beautiful let him go after that bleached blonde %#$&#$! but there is nothing for him to look after here. Not anymore! And if he does, I'll gladly double crack his nuts for being such insufferable nuthead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There!!!!!! I had ny say!
I had a job offer. Full time and pretty decent pay for starters. But they required me to work Friday nights, and that's God's Sabbath, from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. I can't break God's commandments. They asked me to 'rethink' the Sabbath, but I can't break God's commandments. Period. God's been too good to me to disobey. And that's not even a reason. So I'm back to square one, still looking for a job. I don't regret the decision, I never would!!! Just the other day I was reading The Ministry of Healing, and it said that God has thousands of ways to provide for us, of which we know nothing!!! But sometimes He waits, so that His will be done and He'll be glorified. That gave much such courage, and increased my faith in God, knowing that in His time, He'll place me right where I belong. He knows my heart more than I know it myself. And that's beautiful!
Been playing with Martin a lot, to the poin that I had to stop. My fingers were ready to blister. But I'll pick him up tomorrow. My tuner and strap finally came so I could tune him more properly. Wish he could talk. I miss talking with Jennifer, so very much, it always used to put my head straight. The moment I get a job, I'll set up an appointment with her!!!! But now I don't even have anybody to talk to, and I mean anybody to unload about Big Brother. And job issues. I talk to Jesus a lot :) I like it so much!!!! But I still wish Martin would talk. Or at least listen with understanding. :)
I am slowly making new, beautiful friends here. God knew what He was doing by putting them on my path, Linda and Ed especially, they're like family to me! But I'm hungry for more!!!! :):):) And I want to eat now!!! :D I'm excited about tomorrow, I wonder what will happen. I want to wiggle my way into the media ministry in central, I want to be behind a camera so badly!!!! Last time I was there I had hard time concentrating, was watching this girl behind the jib arm all the time, couldn't stop. It's like a whole new world there, moving pictures, something so beyond me, fascinating!!! It almost eats me up! :)
This past Monday I went to Job One, a career services ran by some church; Big Mama told me about it about two weeks ago, and I so wish I went two weeks ago. It was sooooo good! From 8:30 till 4pm non stop something's going on, from classes, sessions, comp learning, mock interview practices, one on one training, resume workshops... incredible! I met so many lovely people...!!! First half day was orientation for new members (I had to pay one time fee for the materials and handouts) and then after lunch I went to an amazing skill assesment seminar. Really really incredible!!!!! And it was all hands on, we were doing the work and activities in small groups (with total strangers that are like you, looking for a job, but friends very soon!!!), the instructor had little to do, LOL :) I've learned so much! Now I understand why my resume sending out doesn't really work. I understood how networking is the key to getting a job and how to find those hidden jobs. And I got an insight that in reality, there are many many jobs out there, just the process of looking for a job has changed dramatically over the last few years, mainly due to the economy. I still don't know exacly how to go about getting a job, buuuut! All in God's hands; and in the meanwhile, I'll be back to Job One this Monday - it happens every Monday, alwasy with different activities. I'm so grateful that Big Mama told me about it!!!!!!
Big Brother. I had to make some decisions. I read this amazing book 'Boundaries' (ironically suggested to by Big Brother, but I can see how it can help him big time - knowing that little bit of his personality) and suddenly I began to understand something. Something, that I believe will help me tremendously. It may not help with the hurt I still feel - that's where talking to a friend steps in, and eventually, clearning it out. But I realized how I made a huuuuuuge mistake by allowing myself to see and talk to him. Even in such innocent situations as going down to BV. So. I was left heartbroken. Anybody would. I hurt and couldn't deal with it. Pain. But all he did was to give me a list of reasons (excuses) on why he acted that way and that's it. And from then on went acting as if nothing happened. Now. This is unacceptable. There are consequences to every action. How will he learn that that was beyond hurtful and immature? Especially if I feed into it, fueled by my own desires and feelings? I kicked him out of my FB friends. Right now, he does not deserve to be there. He doesn't deserve to see me, whether he has any feelings left or not. I made a resolution to not go down to BV for the next graduation (oooh, how much I want to do that though, for the testimonies... ayayayay!!!!) either. He will not see me until he clears out the old rubbish lying around. He needs to understand what he did and why it was hurtful, and understand to not do this again, to any other girl that may come his way, and to tell me, straight in my face, with understanding that he's sorry. Because he never even bothered to apologize. And I want a clearance on where he is right now, so I can move on. Left or right, but move on.
Good plan! :)
EDIT: Ooooooooh, one more thing!!!!!!!!!!! All the sucking up he does, makes me sick! I don't care if he comments on other people's posts, but such sucking up to that actress-wanna-be-or-whatever-she-is-who-cares with his pathetic 'hugs' and 'beautiful hearts'.... he can go and have her heart if it's so beautiful, wanking after another pretty face, repeating same broken phrases to her!!!!!! I can see it, like a dog with a waggin' tail between his legs, makes me soooooo sick!!!!!!!! Such MALE! Does he bother comment on any of my pics? No, not even 'that's ugly' or whatever, but hankering after almost every one of her posts and pics. I think I'm gonna puke, right on my laptop all over his and her face! If her heart is so beautiful let him go after that bleached blonde %#$&#$! but there is nothing for him to look after here. Not anymore! And if he does, I'll gladly double crack his nuts for being such insufferable nuthead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There!!!!!! I had ny say!
Monday, November 12, 2012
Nov 12
I think I've been doing a lot of whining lately...
No reason, I'm taken care of. May not have a paycheck yet, but I have food, place to live, bed to sleep on, phone and internet, clothes and a car with gas in it. My camera and Martin. That's all I need. :)
Friday at Linda's was amazing, stayed there all day till like 9:30pm! And Sabbath spent at Lesya's place. Again, till like 8pm. Was gonna go to fish hatchery on Sunday, but I don't even remember what I did on Sunday, Oh, I edited my Indian Festival pics half the day, talked to my brother, listened to some sermons etc. Didn't do job search, somehow. Felt lazy and somewhat brokenhearted too. Interesting how the past likes to linger sometimes :)
Today I went to Job One Career Coaching, as Big Mama suggested. Amazing place, from early morning till about 4pm, I've learned so much! And met some beautiful people too!!!!! :) Now I know why all my efforts of sending out resumes didn't quite work, but I still don't know how to go about properly looking for a job. Don't even need a career now, just something that will put me on my feet and bring a cash flow. Been craving salad so much today, came home and watched Bridget Jones while stuffing my mouth with greens. It turns out I'm very much like her, or worse, had my heart broken twice in a single year, minus the drinking and smoking, lol! Makes me think how much stronger women are than men and how much heartaches men cause. Hmmm... I think I'm starting to have aversion to men - because I vowed I will not use the word hate about anyone. :) :) :)
No reason, I'm taken care of. May not have a paycheck yet, but I have food, place to live, bed to sleep on, phone and internet, clothes and a car with gas in it. My camera and Martin. That's all I need. :)
Friday at Linda's was amazing, stayed there all day till like 9:30pm! And Sabbath spent at Lesya's place. Again, till like 8pm. Was gonna go to fish hatchery on Sunday, but I don't even remember what I did on Sunday, Oh, I edited my Indian Festival pics half the day, talked to my brother, listened to some sermons etc. Didn't do job search, somehow. Felt lazy and somewhat brokenhearted too. Interesting how the past likes to linger sometimes :)
Today I went to Job One Career Coaching, as Big Mama suggested. Amazing place, from early morning till about 4pm, I've learned so much! And met some beautiful people too!!!!! :) Now I know why all my efforts of sending out resumes didn't quite work, but I still don't know how to go about properly looking for a job. Don't even need a career now, just something that will put me on my feet and bring a cash flow. Been craving salad so much today, came home and watched Bridget Jones while stuffing my mouth with greens. It turns out I'm very much like her, or worse, had my heart broken twice in a single year, minus the drinking and smoking, lol! Makes me think how much stronger women are than men and how much heartaches men cause. Hmmm... I think I'm starting to have aversion to men - because I vowed I will not use the word hate about anyone. :) :) :)
Friday, November 9, 2012
Nov 9
God is so good!
It was a terrible night last night, I realized I had to close certain chapters of my life and move on. I wrote a poem about it but it came out awkward I think, couldn't convey the emotions I felt, because they were too obvious and so raw. And I was too afraid to write something obvious and raw. One day soon I will though. But it hurt, and I couldn't fall asleep, and I was thinking and the more I thought the more I hurt, and the more I hurt the more I cried, and the more I cried the more my nose got stuffy, and the more my nose got stuffy the more I couldn't sleep, and the more I couldn't sleep the more I thought..... on and on....
Till early morning hours. For the first time ever since coming here a thought crossed my mind that maybe I've done a very foolish, foolish thing by moving here. But then I brushed the thought aside and chose to enjoy my life.
Meeting at Linda's today at noon, and I slept till past 10am. I so needed it. Would have slept longer if I could. But the day was a blessing, what a blessing, God gave me another little token of His divine love, and He knows how to cheer me up every single time. It may not be the cheering up I'm longing for but it works wonders and God knows what I need at this time. Had lunch with amazing people at Linda's and spend a whole day at her place, went for a 4 miles hike, then did Bible studies and started Sabbath, and talked, and had amazing evening snacks, and met up with amazing people for a night walk, and then us three girls kept on walking for 1.5 hour and talking, talking, talking... Praise God He put godly Christian friends on my path, such loving people, such encouragement in growing in faith, and praising God together and sharing! Maaaaan, unbelievable, how can I not love people! How can I not love God???? And He knew what I needed... So tired but so greateful, and yes, happy too! Ah, I could write so much but my fingers are so stiff from cold... and I didn't see Martin today, but I'm gonna see him now a little, read my Bible and go to sleep.
It was a terrible night last night, I realized I had to close certain chapters of my life and move on. I wrote a poem about it but it came out awkward I think, couldn't convey the emotions I felt, because they were too obvious and so raw. And I was too afraid to write something obvious and raw. One day soon I will though. But it hurt, and I couldn't fall asleep, and I was thinking and the more I thought the more I hurt, and the more I hurt the more I cried, and the more I cried the more my nose got stuffy, and the more my nose got stuffy the more I couldn't sleep, and the more I couldn't sleep the more I thought..... on and on....
Till early morning hours. For the first time ever since coming here a thought crossed my mind that maybe I've done a very foolish, foolish thing by moving here. But then I brushed the thought aside and chose to enjoy my life.
Meeting at Linda's today at noon, and I slept till past 10am. I so needed it. Would have slept longer if I could. But the day was a blessing, what a blessing, God gave me another little token of His divine love, and He knows how to cheer me up every single time. It may not be the cheering up I'm longing for but it works wonders and God knows what I need at this time. Had lunch with amazing people at Linda's and spend a whole day at her place, went for a 4 miles hike, then did Bible studies and started Sabbath, and talked, and had amazing evening snacks, and met up with amazing people for a night walk, and then us three girls kept on walking for 1.5 hour and talking, talking, talking... Praise God He put godly Christian friends on my path, such loving people, such encouragement in growing in faith, and praising God together and sharing! Maaaaan, unbelievable, how can I not love people! How can I not love God???? And He knew what I needed... So tired but so greateful, and yes, happy too! Ah, I could write so much but my fingers are so stiff from cold... and I didn't see Martin today, but I'm gonna see him now a little, read my Bible and go to sleep.
Nov 8
I'm done with the cleanse. Been craving avocados and devoured 3 today. There.
The company didn't call me so obviously I don't belong there, so back to searching. And I'm totally tired of everything... I think I'll go to bed earlier... read a book, have some herbal tea...have a good cry in my pillow.
Went down to BellaVita to get that wretched CS6 today, brought my harddrive, worked on that for an hour there, brought it home and it wouldn't work! And I'm out of ideas. Tried compressing, extracting files, burning as image, but it still wouldn't burn the ISO file to my dual layer dvd... don't get it... I'm sick of it, so sick of it... and dejected. Disapointed. Sad. Unhappy. Wanting to punch something, someone.
And I've seen Big Brother for the last time as well. I don't want to be driving down there anymore. Gives the wrong impression. Not my place. And I'm sad about it too. All is wrong, Wrong. Wrong. Wrong! Well, this is it, life goes on, time to pick up broken pieces and keep on going. God is good and He'll lead to where I need to be. Hearts will hurt for a while, tears will flow for a while, but all will go into the past and life will go on. As it always does.
I'm seeing Linda tomorrow, and John and Claire will be there too for lunch. It'll be a beautiful day!
The company didn't call me so obviously I don't belong there, so back to searching. And I'm totally tired of everything... I think I'll go to bed earlier... read a book, have some herbal tea...have a good cry in my pillow.
Went down to BellaVita to get that wretched CS6 today, brought my harddrive, worked on that for an hour there, brought it home and it wouldn't work! And I'm out of ideas. Tried compressing, extracting files, burning as image, but it still wouldn't burn the ISO file to my dual layer dvd... don't get it... I'm sick of it, so sick of it... and dejected. Disapointed. Sad. Unhappy. Wanting to punch something, someone.
And I've seen Big Brother for the last time as well. I don't want to be driving down there anymore. Gives the wrong impression. Not my place. And I'm sad about it too. All is wrong, Wrong. Wrong. Wrong! Well, this is it, life goes on, time to pick up broken pieces and keep on going. God is good and He'll lead to where I need to be. Hearts will hurt for a while, tears will flow for a while, but all will go into the past and life will go on. As it always does.
I'm seeing Linda tomorrow, and John and Claire will be there too for lunch. It'll be a beautiful day!
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Nov 7
It may be a travel blog, or more like adjusting-to-living-in-a-new-state blog, but it's personal too, and I'm just sitting here and marveling how amazing God is.
I was feeling down. Pretty down, actually. Some resentments toward Big Brother surfaced and the realization that I should just forget it all and have no hope whatsoever (based on what I know now) hit me full force and it hurt. Oh it hurt!
Pretty dejected I went to Fresh Market to get some ingredients for liver flush and some greens for easing my way out of the cleanse tomorrow (and avocados!!!). After that I planned to go to the Bible study in Roseville church that Linda told me about. I was so down, totally not-in-the-mood, and I made a wrong turn, which I knew will make me late for the study. The one annoying thing about California is that when you pull out of a shopping plaza, most of the times you can only go one way. There is an island in the middle and you've got to get to another lights, and make sure there is a u-turn sign to make the turn legally. That sets you back time wise and it's pretty annoying. So I knew I'll be late and I actually thought of going back home - I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to be late. But I went anyway.
God is so good! What a blessing that was! I saw Linda and her husband and they called me over to sit next to them, and I just couldn't stop talking and sharing, it was like my heart was spilling over through my mouth! And I was amazed because that's what I've been pleading God for, for a long time now. I saw Big Brother having such love for God and just love flowing out of his mouth left and right and I thought wow! I want that, Jesus! And I was shocked how hungry I was for sharing and talking about Jesus's ultimate sacrifice and love for us, humans. And they made me the spoke person for our table and again, I couldn't shut up. And I longed to pray with others! Oh, what blessing! I came home wanting more! And I cried. I kneeled and it all spilled out, don't know why, but everything, the longing to serve Jesus, and people, and share, and the job, and Big Brother, it all just went flowing out with the tears.
But then Linda texts me and wants to spend a day with me! She wants me to share about my health, my cleanse and we both love talking about Jesus. Wow!!!!
Then, I get on FB and one of jeff's former bosses talks to me, our of nowhere (we only spoke few times long time ago when I worked my first job), asking about spiritual things, my faith and Biblical standpoint on some issues. And he goes on sharing most deep problems and struggles, his own and marriage and I saw it's a soul that is searching for solutions, for answers, for help, for Jesus. And we talked and I was amazed at the Biblical wisdom He bestowed upon me. And I was able to share wisdom I learned from my own life's path and my own walk of fire, and what I've learned through it all. And what I've learned from Jennifer. And what I've learned from Big Brother, from when he still talked to me. And I was so greatful that I could use it all to help another person.
I'm tired. Cashews are soaking for 5 hours now, instead of 2. Wanted to make a dressing for kale salad for tomorrow. No energy. But oh so happy. And oh so praying for patience, patience as God works things in His time, not mine. Ah, how I need a job! Patience, and faith!
I was feeling down. Pretty down, actually. Some resentments toward Big Brother surfaced and the realization that I should just forget it all and have no hope whatsoever (based on what I know now) hit me full force and it hurt. Oh it hurt!
Pretty dejected I went to Fresh Market to get some ingredients for liver flush and some greens for easing my way out of the cleanse tomorrow (and avocados!!!). After that I planned to go to the Bible study in Roseville church that Linda told me about. I was so down, totally not-in-the-mood, and I made a wrong turn, which I knew will make me late for the study. The one annoying thing about California is that when you pull out of a shopping plaza, most of the times you can only go one way. There is an island in the middle and you've got to get to another lights, and make sure there is a u-turn sign to make the turn legally. That sets you back time wise and it's pretty annoying. So I knew I'll be late and I actually thought of going back home - I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to be late. But I went anyway.
God is so good! What a blessing that was! I saw Linda and her husband and they called me over to sit next to them, and I just couldn't stop talking and sharing, it was like my heart was spilling over through my mouth! And I was amazed because that's what I've been pleading God for, for a long time now. I saw Big Brother having such love for God and just love flowing out of his mouth left and right and I thought wow! I want that, Jesus! And I was shocked how hungry I was for sharing and talking about Jesus's ultimate sacrifice and love for us, humans. And they made me the spoke person for our table and again, I couldn't shut up. And I longed to pray with others! Oh, what blessing! I came home wanting more! And I cried. I kneeled and it all spilled out, don't know why, but everything, the longing to serve Jesus, and people, and share, and the job, and Big Brother, it all just went flowing out with the tears.
But then Linda texts me and wants to spend a day with me! She wants me to share about my health, my cleanse and we both love talking about Jesus. Wow!!!!
Then, I get on FB and one of jeff's former bosses talks to me, our of nowhere (we only spoke few times long time ago when I worked my first job), asking about spiritual things, my faith and Biblical standpoint on some issues. And he goes on sharing most deep problems and struggles, his own and marriage and I saw it's a soul that is searching for solutions, for answers, for help, for Jesus. And we talked and I was amazed at the Biblical wisdom He bestowed upon me. And I was able to share wisdom I learned from my own life's path and my own walk of fire, and what I've learned through it all. And what I've learned from Jennifer. And what I've learned from Big Brother, from when he still talked to me. And I was so greatful that I could use it all to help another person.
I'm tired. Cashews are soaking for 5 hours now, instead of 2. Wanted to make a dressing for kale salad for tomorrow. No energy. But oh so happy. And oh so praying for patience, patience as God works things in His time, not mine. Ah, how I need a job! Patience, and faith!
Nov 7
Dick is so upset over the electios that he got drunk last night. He had people over watching the news with him till the verdict was announced.
Been taking out Martin every so often yesterday and today to do the basics of the basics, just to burn my fingers and get some mobility back. He's so beautiful... I marvel every time I take him out. What lovely woodwork, grain and finish. So far I got puffiness, redness, pain and lots of stiffness and cracking in my fingers, but it'll get better.
I had a job interview, a company liked my resume and wanted to see me. And five other candidates. Stunning place in La Riviera, Sac area, really driven company, we'll see if God wants to place me there or somewhere else. If they call me back for tomorrow's second part interview, then wow, but so far they haven't called so I suppose I'm back at the drawing board and applying :)
I like being on a cleanse a lot. I could be like that for two weeks or more, but I'm invited to lunch this upcoming Sabbath again, so I gotta break it. The only thing is that I crave, CRAVE, CRAAAAAAVE avocados. It's maddening, I wake up in the morning thinking about eating avocados, they float in my head through the day and I fall asleep dreaming of having avocados. This is insane, I'm not that strong, I may give in and finish the cleanse and just have some. It's maddening!
maaan, I need a job. trying not to get insane about it...
Been taking out Martin every so often yesterday and today to do the basics of the basics, just to burn my fingers and get some mobility back. He's so beautiful... I marvel every time I take him out. What lovely woodwork, grain and finish. So far I got puffiness, redness, pain and lots of stiffness and cracking in my fingers, but it'll get better.
I had a job interview, a company liked my resume and wanted to see me. And five other candidates. Stunning place in La Riviera, Sac area, really driven company, we'll see if God wants to place me there or somewhere else. If they call me back for tomorrow's second part interview, then wow, but so far they haven't called so I suppose I'm back at the drawing board and applying :)
I like being on a cleanse a lot. I could be like that for two weeks or more, but I'm invited to lunch this upcoming Sabbath again, so I gotta break it. The only thing is that I crave, CRAVE, CRAAAAAAVE avocados. It's maddening, I wake up in the morning thinking about eating avocados, they float in my head through the day and I fall asleep dreaming of having avocados. This is insane, I'm not that strong, I may give in and finish the cleanse and just have some. It's maddening!
maaan, I need a job. trying not to get insane about it...
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Nov 6 :)!
Wow, God is so good!!!!! And everyday, as I start my day with a prayer and a devotion, I give my life to God all anew, and it's like 'Ok Jesus, what amazing thing is going to happen today?' It's exciting, all in God's hands, no matter where I end up.
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Had an early morning appointment at DMV today, which took nearly two hours to get it all done! I had to have 'validation' done to my car, such weird thing, somebody just comes over and looks at your car, and ok, you're good to go. What? And I had to wait half hour for that. Then another half hour at the window to get my Cali registration and yessssss!!!!!! I got Cali plates!!!!!!!!!! yeay! I'm officially driving in California now! And then I went for my written test again. Man, Cali crazy rulez!!! :/ But I passed! Praise Jesus I passed!!!! I got temporary Cali licence, and the new one should be mailed to me within a month or two. And my PA licence got punched, of course :) Yes, this is done, I'm so happy! I just got to get a screwdriver from Dick and put up the plates :) Beautiful white plates :)
And then... then..... maaaaan! So here is the story:
I've been looking at guitars for a good while now, including last night. I was supposed to study for the written test for today but I just kept looking at guitars. And then I found one craigslist post, from that very day so very new from somebody wanting to sell a Martin with a hard case for pretty cheap. I was like WOW! It's a low end Martin, but still! A MARTIN! So I go and do my research (that's one good thing I've learned from Jeff, always take time to research before you buy anything $100 and up), and the prices, and the reviews, and sounds.... and it was all AMAZING!!!! So I email the gal saying I want to see it. She says she already has somebody looking at it in the afternoon, but if they don't buy it, she'll let me know. I said ok, God's will be done on that one. I think that's a pretty nifty deal and you don't get guitars like that for so low. So then some time later that day she emails me back and says that if I can see her in Davis between 12 and 2pm, I can be the first one to see it. Whoa, of course I wanted and of course I could! And so I did. And so I loved it. And so I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)
He's beautiful. Very unusual finish, love it though, beautiful woodwork, gorgeous spruce top and mahogany fretboard (ha, studying wood pays off), very small so it's perfect for a small woman, and the sound is quite lovely, rather low, I absolutely love it. I called Henry and told him all about it, and he's so nice and kind and willing to help me, and have a look at it and teach me few things here and there :) I'm beyond excited! So now it's the time to really burn my fingertips, and work hard on getting my fingers to obey me without pain and stiffness. That's a challenge, but anything is possible for those who really want to accomplish something. But I need to approach it as if I have never played before, I want to do this right. Been looking at private lessons, oh how much I need a job!!!!!
Speaking of a job, my frantic job searching and all day applying and resume sending (I was sooo tired!!!) paid off. A company called me today and I have my first proper job interview tomorrow morning in Sacramento :) How double exciting! It's an advertising company and I have no clue what they do, really, but they like my resume and they want to see me! :) We shall see, God's will be done on that one. :)
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Had an early morning appointment at DMV today, which took nearly two hours to get it all done! I had to have 'validation' done to my car, such weird thing, somebody just comes over and looks at your car, and ok, you're good to go. What? And I had to wait half hour for that. Then another half hour at the window to get my Cali registration and yessssss!!!!!! I got Cali plates!!!!!!!!!! yeay! I'm officially driving in California now! And then I went for my written test again. Man, Cali crazy rulez!!! :/ But I passed! Praise Jesus I passed!!!! I got temporary Cali licence, and the new one should be mailed to me within a month or two. And my PA licence got punched, of course :) Yes, this is done, I'm so happy! I just got to get a screwdriver from Dick and put up the plates :) Beautiful white plates :)
And then... then..... maaaaan! So here is the story:
I've been looking at guitars for a good while now, including last night. I was supposed to study for the written test for today but I just kept looking at guitars. And then I found one craigslist post, from that very day so very new from somebody wanting to sell a Martin with a hard case for pretty cheap. I was like WOW! It's a low end Martin, but still! A MARTIN! So I go and do my research (that's one good thing I've learned from Jeff, always take time to research before you buy anything $100 and up), and the prices, and the reviews, and sounds.... and it was all AMAZING!!!! So I email the gal saying I want to see it. She says she already has somebody looking at it in the afternoon, but if they don't buy it, she'll let me know. I said ok, God's will be done on that one. I think that's a pretty nifty deal and you don't get guitars like that for so low. So then some time later that day she emails me back and says that if I can see her in Davis between 12 and 2pm, I can be the first one to see it. Whoa, of course I wanted and of course I could! And so I did. And so I loved it. And so I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)
He's beautiful. Very unusual finish, love it though, beautiful woodwork, gorgeous spruce top and mahogany fretboard (ha, studying wood pays off), very small so it's perfect for a small woman, and the sound is quite lovely, rather low, I absolutely love it. I called Henry and told him all about it, and he's so nice and kind and willing to help me, and have a look at it and teach me few things here and there :) I'm beyond excited! So now it's the time to really burn my fingertips, and work hard on getting my fingers to obey me without pain and stiffness. That's a challenge, but anything is possible for those who really want to accomplish something. But I need to approach it as if I have never played before, I want to do this right. Been looking at private lessons, oh how much I need a job!!!!!
Speaking of a job, my frantic job searching and all day applying and resume sending (I was sooo tired!!!) paid off. A company called me today and I have my first proper job interview tomorrow morning in Sacramento :) How double exciting! It's an advertising company and I have no clue what they do, really, but they like my resume and they want to see me! :) We shall see, God's will be done on that one. :)
Monday, November 5, 2012
Nov 5
God is so good to me! He heard my pleas, He saw my tears and looked into my heart and chose to comfort me. How can I not love Him?
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I'm nearing a month in California now. I'm pretty much settled in my little room. I'd like to make it more livable but that requires a job. Ok for now. I know my way around, I can go anywhere I imagine, no problems, easy driving in Cali :) Been learning lots here and there, and from people on anything from the terrible state Cali is in to the little gossips of Citrus Heights and Sacramento. Very interesting, I don't dwell on it, obviously, but I'd like to be versed in.. everything :)
My DMV journey should conclude tomorrow I hope. All fees are paid, I just need to finalize the registration and retake the driving test. Then just wait for the plates and the licence to come in the mail. I think that's how they do it here. All is so different from PA...
For now I'm making friends in Roseville church, but I'm nosing around Sac Central as well, as I'm aching to get involved in one of their ministries. I talked to Jimmy the other day, he said he could put me up with the right people. I just may take him up on that. So maybe that's where I belong? But I still want to explore other churches.
For not having a job yet, I sure been busy. Time just flies, and because I don't really need to be anywhere, I get up way too late. I'd love to be up and running by 7am at the latest. I've gone up to 6 most annoying alarms my phone can muster. Still doesn't work... :/
------------------
So after my terrible Friday night, in which I stayed up till past 2am feeling beyond miserable, I get a text early morning on Sabbath with a lunch invite. How lovely. The whole day was one big blessing!!!!! We had an amazing choir come and do some numbers with such a loving sermon; basic, but bringing one so much closer to Jesus. I was like 'what do you mean you're done, you just started!'. Then lunch at Linda and David's with 4 other people, inluding the pastor and his wife, nice :) What a blessing that was! Then I ran to another church half hour away for a full blown men concert. Wooooh, that was something, had me sitting on the edge of the pew, such praise, so beautiful, I was tearing up sometimes. Huge church too, with loooooooaaaads for people and not enough parking spots :) Got home before 9pm, and edited some jpgs.
Sat nights are a bit hard, because I'm in a city now, and that fully reminds me the city sat nights I used to have, with friends, always doing something together. Or going out with guys, dating, that's the time to hang out and do fun stuff... tough!
Sunday had me just as busy as we (church group) were going to Yuba City for indian festival early in the morning. It was fun, I of course, went with my camera. How could I pass up this chance to shoot their colorful outfits? It turns out that the Sikh indians believe that the more they do for the community (salvation by works! where did I hear that before!) the more they gain in heaven. So they had tables and tables of free food and drinks, and people flocked there just for the food. Well, I went for the pics; most of their food was fried and plain unhealthy! But it was so interesting! There was gonna be a parade, but the people I went with had to leave before the parade, but that's no loss, since i got some cool pics. Some of the indians thought I was working for a paper (my telephoto does look impressive to an untrained eye....) and they were asking me to take pics of them and making sure I put them on the front page! Lol, I had a good time!
I chatted with Nancy in the afternoon, sharing my story and my current struggles with her. I so value her opinion, she gives good advice too. So blessed to be friends with her. And God is good, helps me to put certain issues at the back of my head. If I don't pray and ask for His help, I may as well go mental sometimes. My life seems so checkered right now, sometimes I'm all over the place not knowing what am I doing, not focusing... praying to Jesus helps every single time! After the festival I felt so off again, I wanted to read and couldn't concentrate. An avid and fast reader like me, it was a joke! I couldn't believe it. Hard! But with God's help, He gave me my focus back and I finished the book by 8pm - amazing true story of a black slave girl, depicting the life during the slavery time. Horrible! I am so happy that these terrible times are over, poor people!!!! Giving glory to God and praying for freedom to all people, no matter the race, color or religion!!!!
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I'm nearing a month in California now. I'm pretty much settled in my little room. I'd like to make it more livable but that requires a job. Ok for now. I know my way around, I can go anywhere I imagine, no problems, easy driving in Cali :) Been learning lots here and there, and from people on anything from the terrible state Cali is in to the little gossips of Citrus Heights and Sacramento. Very interesting, I don't dwell on it, obviously, but I'd like to be versed in.. everything :)
My DMV journey should conclude tomorrow I hope. All fees are paid, I just need to finalize the registration and retake the driving test. Then just wait for the plates and the licence to come in the mail. I think that's how they do it here. All is so different from PA...
For now I'm making friends in Roseville church, but I'm nosing around Sac Central as well, as I'm aching to get involved in one of their ministries. I talked to Jimmy the other day, he said he could put me up with the right people. I just may take him up on that. So maybe that's where I belong? But I still want to explore other churches.
For not having a job yet, I sure been busy. Time just flies, and because I don't really need to be anywhere, I get up way too late. I'd love to be up and running by 7am at the latest. I've gone up to 6 most annoying alarms my phone can muster. Still doesn't work... :/
------------------
So after my terrible Friday night, in which I stayed up till past 2am feeling beyond miserable, I get a text early morning on Sabbath with a lunch invite. How lovely. The whole day was one big blessing!!!!! We had an amazing choir come and do some numbers with such a loving sermon; basic, but bringing one so much closer to Jesus. I was like 'what do you mean you're done, you just started!'. Then lunch at Linda and David's with 4 other people, inluding the pastor and his wife, nice :) What a blessing that was! Then I ran to another church half hour away for a full blown men concert. Wooooh, that was something, had me sitting on the edge of the pew, such praise, so beautiful, I was tearing up sometimes. Huge church too, with loooooooaaaads for people and not enough parking spots :) Got home before 9pm, and edited some jpgs.
Sat nights are a bit hard, because I'm in a city now, and that fully reminds me the city sat nights I used to have, with friends, always doing something together. Or going out with guys, dating, that's the time to hang out and do fun stuff... tough!
Sunday had me just as busy as we (church group) were going to Yuba City for indian festival early in the morning. It was fun, I of course, went with my camera. How could I pass up this chance to shoot their colorful outfits? It turns out that the Sikh indians believe that the more they do for the community (salvation by works! where did I hear that before!) the more they gain in heaven. So they had tables and tables of free food and drinks, and people flocked there just for the food. Well, I went for the pics; most of their food was fried and plain unhealthy! But it was so interesting! There was gonna be a parade, but the people I went with had to leave before the parade, but that's no loss, since i got some cool pics. Some of the indians thought I was working for a paper (my telephoto does look impressive to an untrained eye....) and they were asking me to take pics of them and making sure I put them on the front page! Lol, I had a good time!
I chatted with Nancy in the afternoon, sharing my story and my current struggles with her. I so value her opinion, she gives good advice too. So blessed to be friends with her. And God is good, helps me to put certain issues at the back of my head. If I don't pray and ask for His help, I may as well go mental sometimes. My life seems so checkered right now, sometimes I'm all over the place not knowing what am I doing, not focusing... praying to Jesus helps every single time! After the festival I felt so off again, I wanted to read and couldn't concentrate. An avid and fast reader like me, it was a joke! I couldn't believe it. Hard! But with God's help, He gave me my focus back and I finished the book by 8pm - amazing true story of a black slave girl, depicting the life during the slavery time. Horrible! I am so happy that these terrible times are over, poor people!!!! Giving glory to God and praying for freedom to all people, no matter the race, color or religion!!!!
Friday, November 2, 2012
Nov 2 :/
Been job searching half a day yesterday and today. I found this one amazing job that I know I would absolutely thrive in. But it's not up to me, God knows where to place me. I just need to have more faith and don't get discouraged. And keep on looking.
Went to Elk Grove today with Dick, he needed help with getting back after dropping off his car at some mechanic's place. And after that I was all over the place. Mentally. Couldn't settle. Couldn't focus. I need more social. Was going to go for a walk, technically I could still go, but I don't feel like it. I'm cold, a bit miserable, and I'd much rather snuggle up in blankies and listen to my tummy making weird noises. It's the cleanse, second day today. Doing good, feeling light, not feeling hungry at all. Well, once, but that was my own laziness of not wanting to get my butt up and go juice and make the poultice.
Actually, I don't feel good right now at all. I have no job. And it'll soon be a month here. Can't properly edit pics. I need the software for RAWs. I have one leftover avocado that's mocking me and it takes a lot out of me not to eat it. I may be addicted to avocados. I still haven't found a free parking space to go back to running at Folsom Lake. My supposed running buddy is too busy to run, ironically. I have internal battles with myself, the classic game of principles vs. feelings. I wish I could stick my head in the sand and wait till it all goes away. Making decisions is hard sometimes. My anger at Big Brother surfaces and boils sometimes. I can't manage it. The 'old maid' fears are haunting me again. For all I know it may end up being my reality. Maybe I could become an old, crazy cat woman, the one that has 30 cats in her place... I have no home church. I don't belong. Not yet. Sometimes having too many choices isn't all that good after all... And I can't find a proper Friday night Bible Study. I don't care about just hanging out, I need a real study. And I go to sleep too late. And wake up too late. I need structure. I need a job. Yup, it all goes back to a job. I'll be too busy to be angry, upset, to be thinking and having fights with myself, I'll meet more people, have fun, be happy, be independent, maybe even meet a nice guy friend who'd want to hang out together and do fun things.
Maaaan, do I need a job! :/
Went to Elk Grove today with Dick, he needed help with getting back after dropping off his car at some mechanic's place. And after that I was all over the place. Mentally. Couldn't settle. Couldn't focus. I need more social. Was going to go for a walk, technically I could still go, but I don't feel like it. I'm cold, a bit miserable, and I'd much rather snuggle up in blankies and listen to my tummy making weird noises. It's the cleanse, second day today. Doing good, feeling light, not feeling hungry at all. Well, once, but that was my own laziness of not wanting to get my butt up and go juice and make the poultice.
Actually, I don't feel good right now at all. I have no job. And it'll soon be a month here. Can't properly edit pics. I need the software for RAWs. I have one leftover avocado that's mocking me and it takes a lot out of me not to eat it. I may be addicted to avocados. I still haven't found a free parking space to go back to running at Folsom Lake. My supposed running buddy is too busy to run, ironically. I have internal battles with myself, the classic game of principles vs. feelings. I wish I could stick my head in the sand and wait till it all goes away. Making decisions is hard sometimes. My anger at Big Brother surfaces and boils sometimes. I can't manage it. The 'old maid' fears are haunting me again. For all I know it may end up being my reality. Maybe I could become an old, crazy cat woman, the one that has 30 cats in her place... I have no home church. I don't belong. Not yet. Sometimes having too many choices isn't all that good after all... And I can't find a proper Friday night Bible Study. I don't care about just hanging out, I need a real study. And I go to sleep too late. And wake up too late. I need structure. I need a job. Yup, it all goes back to a job. I'll be too busy to be angry, upset, to be thinking and having fights with myself, I'll meet more people, have fun, be happy, be independent, maybe even meet a nice guy friend who'd want to hang out together and do fun things.
Maaaan, do I need a job! :/
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Nov 1
Yesterday was 3 weeks in Cali. It's going on a month now.
I so wish my life was a bit more structured. Yes, a job would help. Nothing yet, and I can't allow myself to freak out. But give me a month or so and I'll be living under a bridge in a cardboard box :) But no, I have faith, God will provide. God is good.
I've started a full body cleanse today. It's so easy, I may stay on it longer than 7 days. No need to worry about food, just make sure you got plenty of apple juice, carrots to juice and greens, organic coffee brewed up for liver cleansing enemas, and of course the Modern Manna Bowel formulas with Super Manna greens. I'll have to give my beautiful organic avocado and tomatoes to Kim or Dick... sob sob...
So to recap: Weekend was so exciting! I absolutely love all the action and want more! I'm hungry for meeting people, doing things, sightseeing, experiencing things, living life, being happy and cheerful, just enjoying living to the fullest!!!! Now some of these things I can't do without a job, but no matter.
Friday night I went for a long walk around the nearby park again, I embraced the place so much that I really truly enjoy going there, either running or walking. I left at 7pm, come back home after 10 to quite a scene. At least 20 police cars, K9 squad, rifle squad, 2 or more TV vans, and a chopper circling around, all by the entrance to my tiny street I live in. I really wanted to go home so I drove in the middle of it asking around if I can get through, LOL. I stopped my car at one point because I actually was policemen with guns. I was turned around because aparently I drove right into the firing line, lol. So I waited for half hour by the TV van (it was so cool watching them) till it all cleared. Then I learned from a neighbor that I met right then and there of what happened. Only two houses down from me, a guy in a stolen car pulled up, broke into a house, stole jewelry and stuff, there was a pregnant girl there who went into labor from panic, so the mother went after the guy. The guy jumped into the car and started taking off with the mother behind him, he hit an electric pole on our street, the pole went down bringing down the wires, so he takes off on foot, this time with police right behind him. He had a gun but it took them a while to talk him into putting it down, and so they caught him. But all the houses on our street -except for ours, thank you Lord for watching over me!!! - lost electricity for a while. And then I ended up talking with the neighbor till almost 2 am! It's interesting how people just come up to me wanting to share their lives and problems, I find it fascinating!!! When I went to Gracepoint church Sabbath class, I had about 5 people lined up to talk to me, telling me different things, from where their families live to who's sick and needs help. So interesting!!!! I wonder if God wants me to do something with that....
The Sabbath I went to Sac Central church and spent a lovely day at my Daniela's place, having lunch, chilling, petting her 7 cats (how cool!!!) and talking about everything, including -oh my! - Big Brother.
And Sunday I got together with a bunch of other photogs for an amazing photoshoot at a winery in Lincoln. It's so beautiful there, so peaceful, very country-ish place, relaxed, slow and easy going... And the pics came out stunning! I had so much fun, and met some amazing people. What a blessing that was!
Monday I had a brief 2 hours meeting with Big Brother, just so he can give me my harddrive back. Way too long for strictly business related meeting ending with 3 hugs. Such foolishness needs to be nipped in the bud, from the start. That's why I wrote a poem entitled "The Oppugn". I'll fight, and if one wins it may be the sweetest thing ever, if the other wins, well, time for mental institution.
But last night was another exciting thing. I went to the RISEN school's graduation at BellaVita! How exciting was listening to the graduates sharing their experiences, wow, it was something else! And it was good to see Danny and Charmaine again :) And chat with people. And spend another 2 hours hanging out at the office with... well, wanting the wretched CS6! But I got 2 hugs instead, this has got to stop!
So today is back to the grind of job searching! My problem is that I think about photography too much, and not enough about getting a job that will pay my bills. And that's what I'll be focusing on from now on. Job searching! Plus all the fun I can get in the meanwhile! God is so good! :)
I so wish my life was a bit more structured. Yes, a job would help. Nothing yet, and I can't allow myself to freak out. But give me a month or so and I'll be living under a bridge in a cardboard box :) But no, I have faith, God will provide. God is good.
I've started a full body cleanse today. It's so easy, I may stay on it longer than 7 days. No need to worry about food, just make sure you got plenty of apple juice, carrots to juice and greens, organic coffee brewed up for liver cleansing enemas, and of course the Modern Manna Bowel formulas with Super Manna greens. I'll have to give my beautiful organic avocado and tomatoes to Kim or Dick... sob sob...
So to recap: Weekend was so exciting! I absolutely love all the action and want more! I'm hungry for meeting people, doing things, sightseeing, experiencing things, living life, being happy and cheerful, just enjoying living to the fullest!!!! Now some of these things I can't do without a job, but no matter.
Friday night I went for a long walk around the nearby park again, I embraced the place so much that I really truly enjoy going there, either running or walking. I left at 7pm, come back home after 10 to quite a scene. At least 20 police cars, K9 squad, rifle squad, 2 or more TV vans, and a chopper circling around, all by the entrance to my tiny street I live in. I really wanted to go home so I drove in the middle of it asking around if I can get through, LOL. I stopped my car at one point because I actually was policemen with guns. I was turned around because aparently I drove right into the firing line, lol. So I waited for half hour by the TV van (it was so cool watching them) till it all cleared. Then I learned from a neighbor that I met right then and there of what happened. Only two houses down from me, a guy in a stolen car pulled up, broke into a house, stole jewelry and stuff, there was a pregnant girl there who went into labor from panic, so the mother went after the guy. The guy jumped into the car and started taking off with the mother behind him, he hit an electric pole on our street, the pole went down bringing down the wires, so he takes off on foot, this time with police right behind him. He had a gun but it took them a while to talk him into putting it down, and so they caught him. But all the houses on our street -except for ours, thank you Lord for watching over me!!! - lost electricity for a while. And then I ended up talking with the neighbor till almost 2 am! It's interesting how people just come up to me wanting to share their lives and problems, I find it fascinating!!! When I went to Gracepoint church Sabbath class, I had about 5 people lined up to talk to me, telling me different things, from where their families live to who's sick and needs help. So interesting!!!! I wonder if God wants me to do something with that....
The Sabbath I went to Sac Central church and spent a lovely day at my Daniela's place, having lunch, chilling, petting her 7 cats (how cool!!!) and talking about everything, including -oh my! - Big Brother.
And Sunday I got together with a bunch of other photogs for an amazing photoshoot at a winery in Lincoln. It's so beautiful there, so peaceful, very country-ish place, relaxed, slow and easy going... And the pics came out stunning! I had so much fun, and met some amazing people. What a blessing that was!
Monday I had a brief 2 hours meeting with Big Brother, just so he can give me my harddrive back. Way too long for strictly business related meeting ending with 3 hugs. Such foolishness needs to be nipped in the bud, from the start. That's why I wrote a poem entitled "The Oppugn". I'll fight, and if one wins it may be the sweetest thing ever, if the other wins, well, time for mental institution.
But last night was another exciting thing. I went to the RISEN school's graduation at BellaVita! How exciting was listening to the graduates sharing their experiences, wow, it was something else! And it was good to see Danny and Charmaine again :) And chat with people. And spend another 2 hours hanging out at the office with... well, wanting the wretched CS6! But I got 2 hugs instead, this has got to stop!
So today is back to the grind of job searching! My problem is that I think about photography too much, and not enough about getting a job that will pay my bills. And that's what I'll be focusing on from now on. Job searching! Plus all the fun I can get in the meanwhile! God is so good! :)
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Oct 25
Some days you just gotta survive, but most days are just plain amazing! Today I had to survive. But good things happened. Had an interview with a staffing company in the early morning, I edited a lot of pictures, took care of some things, talked to my brother and another staffing company called that they have a job for me. Good :) I'm very happy about it. But it was a bit lonely since I didn't do anything social today.
I gave my local park a go today. I was desperate. Took a 2 hour fast walk, three loops around from 6 to 8pm. At night. And I actually liked it. Safe. Dimly lit, but still, lit. Not too many people. Quite pretty too. I've decided it can be my perfect pre-night time walking area. Or even jogging if I want to. My hands are still stiff though, from the cold, and they won't type fast... I need hot herbal tea now... Or a hot guy.... Or both... :):):)
I gave my local park a go today. I was desperate. Took a 2 hour fast walk, three loops around from 6 to 8pm. At night. And I actually liked it. Safe. Dimly lit, but still, lit. Not too many people. Quite pretty too. I've decided it can be my perfect pre-night time walking area. Or even jogging if I want to. My hands are still stiff though, from the cold, and they won't type fast... I need hot herbal tea now... Or a hot guy.... Or both... :):):)
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Oct 24
Today's adventures consisted of going to Cali DMV and getting things rolling. Was dreaming of getting my papers today, but I guess I can keep on dreaming! LOL! The CA registration won't be completed till I smog test my car. Of course I had to ask lots of questions, cuz there is no such thing in Pennsylvania. And then I gotta go back. Made an appt two weeks from now, hopefully I'll get it done by then. As for driver licence, well, it turned out they had me take a test!!!!! I was like WHAAAAAT???? Overall I was very pleased with myself. Considering all the crazy and insane California rules that I had no clue about, I had only 4 mistakes too many ;) Of course I'll be retaking the test. But what joke, the woman marked all the right answers on my wrong ones, I just gotta memorize which ones they are!!! LOL. Or would it be better to actually learn the rules? Hahaha!!! She gave me a study book. Of course I was to fail the first time; when I first came here I wasn't even sure if it's ok to turn on red, if there is no 'no turn on red' sign. Only I don't think such signs exist here; again, it's a PA thing. Much to learn! :) But what fun! :):):) Minut spending the money, DMV charged some hard cash for the process...
I'm in a middle of booking an engagement shoot for this Monday. It'll be my first paid Cali photography job. How cool is that??? Praise God!
It's a bit chilly out here right now. When the sun is out it is quite lovely, but otherwise gets cold. Neat. Very fall weather, very romantic :) I had a choice today, going running or washing my car. I figured washing my car will be somewhat of an excercise. Ooooh, I gave her a good scrub, and then some inexpert waxing. She looks beautiful :) Though I still can't get the birds doodoos off; I know there is something for it. Buuuut, nothing's lost running-wise. I may have found myself a pretty cool running buddy. :) We'll see tomorrow :)
I'm in a middle of booking an engagement shoot for this Monday. It'll be my first paid Cali photography job. How cool is that??? Praise God!
It's a bit chilly out here right now. When the sun is out it is quite lovely, but otherwise gets cold. Neat. Very fall weather, very romantic :) I had a choice today, going running or washing my car. I figured washing my car will be somewhat of an excercise. Ooooh, I gave her a good scrub, and then some inexpert waxing. She looks beautiful :) Though I still can't get the birds doodoos off; I know there is something for it. Buuuut, nothing's lost running-wise. I may have found myself a pretty cool running buddy. :) We'll see tomorrow :)
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Oct 23
Tomorrow it'll be two weeks in Cali. And I already feel at home. I know my streets, been here and there, in fact, everyday I get to go to a new place and discover new stores, sights. It's amazing. And today I realized that this is exactly where I need to be. God placed me here, and for a reason. And I know I'm gonna be alright :)
California is all about rules. There are rules everywhere and about everything, and each day I learn something new. Like this carpooling thing. There is no such thing in PA. But here there is a special lane for carpools, it's the left, fastest lane and it's marked. In my area it's gotta be at least 2 people to carpool, and in San Fran area it takes three to carpool. Otherwise they get you, and you pay waaaay through the nose!
For some reason nobody here minds the construction sites. I mean the speed limit. It says 25 but they all go 45 nonetheless. But don't seem to get upset at me when I chose to go 30 on the left lane, hehehe.
All the food here is all about mexican food. Rice and beans, ay baby! And Spanish is THE second language. You've got it made if you're bilingual in Spanish, it's so much easier to get a job! There are flocks of hispanic people here.
I've been to two job fairs, yesterday and today. Yesterday was a joke. I've never been to such pityful job fair... buuuuut! :) I got in touch with a new staffing company through it and I have a job interview on Thursday for some data entry job. Hey, I'll take anything right now! :) Could be somewhat decent pay, for starters :) So happy! Today's job fair was very professional. I met up with Big Mama at this hotel where the fair took place, for some reason she wants to change her job so we both were going from booth to booth. Maaan, I could learn so much from her! She was shaking hands with everybody there, and wiggling information out of them in such way that they were telling us all the inside job positions they had, even the ones they didn't advertise. Was really cool watching her! And I had my resume professionally looked at. Lots of changes to make! I guess I now have 150 pages of scrap paper LOL
The only thing with me and office job is that I'm really not an office person. I can do it and I can do it extremally well because I'm super organized but I'm really an artist! And if I don't have some kind of artistic outlet at work, some good social interactions at work, some creative thinking and expressing involved I start burning out really soon. I sooo pray that God will provide the RIGHT kind of a job for me!!!!!
I've been dreaming of a guitar. So much!!!! I went to craigslist yesterday and found so many amazing ones I could get... If I had a job right now, I could get one immediately out of my savings. But I don't dare to spend it right now on anything other than bare necessities. Talking about spending... I did get a good external harddrive though... that was a must because the pics are eating up my laptop space. Aaaaaand, Big Brother promised CS5, if I get the drive. What help! :) I got a chance to see him. Met up for a short 5 minutes to hand in the drive. I am NOT breaking my own rules, that meeting was strictly business related, and purely professional. Minus the 4 hugs I got from him that day. Well, that will suffice for a loooooooooooooooooong time! I hope..... :/ It will. Be strong, be tough, be Polish! :):):)
Yesterday was actually pretty eventful, that, and I went to visit BellaVita: Danny and Charmaine. After saying hi to everyone in the office, Danny took me to the house and called for Charmaine to see who came to say hi. You should have seen her face!!!! She couldn't stop hugging me, and she had no slightest clue that I moved to Cali. Oh what a sweet visit that was! The RISEN school was in session, I got a tour of the place and its improvements, and I got my cleanse kit, which I'm going to start this upcoming Sunday. Or earlier. Depending on when will I eat my 4 organic potatoes that I got at the co-op store in Sac on Sunday. I shall not waste a single potato!!! And tomatoes, and the bread. That's all I have, other than carrots and greens. And Charmaine invited me to come over next Wednesday for the school's graduation. Ohhhh that is going to be so exciting, can't wait!!!!!!
So all in all God's been blessing so incredibly much! I'm not lacking in anything, and if I do, I want to be like Paul, who was content no matter what situation he was in. :) I believe God will provide the right job in the right time, HIS time. And my friends circle will expand, I will meet more new people and make friends, and I will start re-learning guitar, learning Russian, maybe even banjo, I will have beautiful brides hiring me to shoot their amazing weddings, and God will open the door for me to use my artistic talents for His service. I am right where I'm supposed to be. Thank you Jesus!
California is all about rules. There are rules everywhere and about everything, and each day I learn something new. Like this carpooling thing. There is no such thing in PA. But here there is a special lane for carpools, it's the left, fastest lane and it's marked. In my area it's gotta be at least 2 people to carpool, and in San Fran area it takes three to carpool. Otherwise they get you, and you pay waaaay through the nose!
For some reason nobody here minds the construction sites. I mean the speed limit. It says 25 but they all go 45 nonetheless. But don't seem to get upset at me when I chose to go 30 on the left lane, hehehe.
All the food here is all about mexican food. Rice and beans, ay baby! And Spanish is THE second language. You've got it made if you're bilingual in Spanish, it's so much easier to get a job! There are flocks of hispanic people here.
I've been to two job fairs, yesterday and today. Yesterday was a joke. I've never been to such pityful job fair... buuuuut! :) I got in touch with a new staffing company through it and I have a job interview on Thursday for some data entry job. Hey, I'll take anything right now! :) Could be somewhat decent pay, for starters :) So happy! Today's job fair was very professional. I met up with Big Mama at this hotel where the fair took place, for some reason she wants to change her job so we both were going from booth to booth. Maaan, I could learn so much from her! She was shaking hands with everybody there, and wiggling information out of them in such way that they were telling us all the inside job positions they had, even the ones they didn't advertise. Was really cool watching her! And I had my resume professionally looked at. Lots of changes to make! I guess I now have 150 pages of scrap paper LOL
The only thing with me and office job is that I'm really not an office person. I can do it and I can do it extremally well because I'm super organized but I'm really an artist! And if I don't have some kind of artistic outlet at work, some good social interactions at work, some creative thinking and expressing involved I start burning out really soon. I sooo pray that God will provide the RIGHT kind of a job for me!!!!!
I've been dreaming of a guitar. So much!!!! I went to craigslist yesterday and found so many amazing ones I could get... If I had a job right now, I could get one immediately out of my savings. But I don't dare to spend it right now on anything other than bare necessities. Talking about spending... I did get a good external harddrive though... that was a must because the pics are eating up my laptop space. Aaaaaand, Big Brother promised CS5, if I get the drive. What help! :) I got a chance to see him. Met up for a short 5 minutes to hand in the drive. I am NOT breaking my own rules, that meeting was strictly business related, and purely professional. Minus the 4 hugs I got from him that day. Well, that will suffice for a loooooooooooooooooong time! I hope..... :/ It will. Be strong, be tough, be Polish! :):):)
Yesterday was actually pretty eventful, that, and I went to visit BellaVita: Danny and Charmaine. After saying hi to everyone in the office, Danny took me to the house and called for Charmaine to see who came to say hi. You should have seen her face!!!! She couldn't stop hugging me, and she had no slightest clue that I moved to Cali. Oh what a sweet visit that was! The RISEN school was in session, I got a tour of the place and its improvements, and I got my cleanse kit, which I'm going to start this upcoming Sunday. Or earlier. Depending on when will I eat my 4 organic potatoes that I got at the co-op store in Sac on Sunday. I shall not waste a single potato!!! And tomatoes, and the bread. That's all I have, other than carrots and greens. And Charmaine invited me to come over next Wednesday for the school's graduation. Ohhhh that is going to be so exciting, can't wait!!!!!!
So all in all God's been blessing so incredibly much! I'm not lacking in anything, and if I do, I want to be like Paul, who was content no matter what situation he was in. :) I believe God will provide the right job in the right time, HIS time. And my friends circle will expand, I will meet more new people and make friends, and I will start re-learning guitar, learning Russian, maybe even banjo, I will have beautiful brides hiring me to shoot their amazing weddings, and God will open the door for me to use my artistic talents for His service. I am right where I'm supposed to be. Thank you Jesus!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Oct 21 :)
God is sooooo good and there may be hope for me yet! LOL
Right now I'm printing copies of my resume for tomorrow's job fair and talking with a potential client :) It may be my first photography job in California, an engagement shoot :) Hopefully I can close the deal :) And I just purchased an amazing 3T external drive to pick up in store tomorrow, because Big Brother promised me a copy of CS5 on it and Im just elated!!!
Because it was such a good, good day!!!
Got up early to meet up with Daniela at her place (amazing house, loooooooove red kitchens!!!) and we took off to Sac to an outdoor produce market. It's so lovely there, and then we ended up driving around Sac, sightseeing and stopping here and there for home baked bread or a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice! And Sacramento is such a relaxed city, I absolutely love it :) And so afterwards I almost fell asleep on her couch because it's way too comfortable! From there I ran to meet with Big Mama, she was running a church yard sale (the church that I went to yesterday) so we ended up chatting for quite a while! And I got my things from her too, bless her heart! From there I was running around looking for bread knife, because I got a whole loaf of bread while having nothing to cut it with. I'm still very limited with what I have. Makes me quite sad sometimes when I think on all the kitchen things I had to leave behind.... :/
So I got home around 4pm, I was sooooo hungry (been up since 6:30am) that I ripped off the end of my bread and ate it while driving. LOL. Gotta survive somehow :):):)!!!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, the printer ate all my paper! I asked for 20 copies, it printed like 150!!!! What gives?????
Anyway, so there is hope for my running. From my research I found out there are 'back' ways into the lake, if I park in a neighborhood that doesn't have 'no parking' sign. California is so law specific! Gotta pay attention to the slighters things, but people somewhow go around it anyway, LOL! So I'll be back in full speed very soon! :)
Good day, good day! I juiced, and chat-texted with a friend, laughing my head off at the same time! I love witty people :) And was able to text few words to Big Brother today, without anger, without attitude, without freezing up. Goooooooood :) I thought about hard last night, couldn't fall asleep till past 3am so I had lots of time to think. And I realized that I was simply afraid to face the reality, to accept the facts as they are, it is what it is and you just can't fight it Anya, because it's a lot stronger than you. It'll make you crazy, mental, insane if you try to fight it, and why would I anyway? To promote a good image of something that isn't true? Everybody knows. Everybody! There is no hiding, but the beautiful part is that everyone is simply trying to help. In any way they can! How can I not love people??????? God is so good to me! And may His will be done!!!!!!
Right now I'm printing copies of my resume for tomorrow's job fair and talking with a potential client :) It may be my first photography job in California, an engagement shoot :) Hopefully I can close the deal :) And I just purchased an amazing 3T external drive to pick up in store tomorrow, because Big Brother promised me a copy of CS5 on it and Im just elated!!!
Because it was such a good, good day!!!
Got up early to meet up with Daniela at her place (amazing house, loooooooove red kitchens!!!) and we took off to Sac to an outdoor produce market. It's so lovely there, and then we ended up driving around Sac, sightseeing and stopping here and there for home baked bread or a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice! And Sacramento is such a relaxed city, I absolutely love it :) And so afterwards I almost fell asleep on her couch because it's way too comfortable! From there I ran to meet with Big Mama, she was running a church yard sale (the church that I went to yesterday) so we ended up chatting for quite a while! And I got my things from her too, bless her heart! From there I was running around looking for bread knife, because I got a whole loaf of bread while having nothing to cut it with. I'm still very limited with what I have. Makes me quite sad sometimes when I think on all the kitchen things I had to leave behind.... :/
So I got home around 4pm, I was sooooo hungry (been up since 6:30am) that I ripped off the end of my bread and ate it while driving. LOL. Gotta survive somehow :):):)!!!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, the printer ate all my paper! I asked for 20 copies, it printed like 150!!!! What gives?????
Anyway, so there is hope for my running. From my research I found out there are 'back' ways into the lake, if I park in a neighborhood that doesn't have 'no parking' sign. California is so law specific! Gotta pay attention to the slighters things, but people somewhow go around it anyway, LOL! So I'll be back in full speed very soon! :)
Good day, good day! I juiced, and chat-texted with a friend, laughing my head off at the same time! I love witty people :) And was able to text few words to Big Brother today, without anger, without attitude, without freezing up. Goooooooood :) I thought about hard last night, couldn't fall asleep till past 3am so I had lots of time to think. And I realized that I was simply afraid to face the reality, to accept the facts as they are, it is what it is and you just can't fight it Anya, because it's a lot stronger than you. It'll make you crazy, mental, insane if you try to fight it, and why would I anyway? To promote a good image of something that isn't true? Everybody knows. Everybody! There is no hiding, but the beautiful part is that everyone is simply trying to help. In any way they can! How can I not love people??????? God is so good to me! And may His will be done!!!!!!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Oct 20 :(
Forget it. I'm done. I feel so low I can crawl and nobody would even notice. I am so miserable.... :(
My running adventures are over and everything started going downhill from there. It turned out that I've been winging it all the time. The Folsom Lake park is PAID, paid, not free, madness, I was so shocked you gonna ask me to pay $12 just to go and run there?????? I told the dude at the gate what I think about this idea (in kind words) but when I went to run by the river, they turned it to a park which is paid too!!! And all this time I didn't know, but I could have been charged a fee for not having a pass... I was so miserable! Ok, ok, there is no need for feeling desperate (yes there is!), there is always a way out. I have two options, well, three. ONE: I can just go and try to wing it each time trying to find out how lucky I am (the gate rarely has a person, and I have yet to see a ranger driving around). TWO, I can go back to drawing board and try to find another park, somewhere to run or just embrace the city streets, like I had to do for 4 years in Philadelphia. THREE, I can start thinking like a true Polish person and find a way around it. I can already come up with at least two ways I can get around the law and not pay...and still run there... ayayay... :/
So last night I came home and suddenly everything hit me all at once. I fell into pieces and splayed out on the floor... Suddenly I started questioning what am I doing here, who I am and where do I belong... I don't really belong anywhere right now, I'd like to fit somewhere but I don't know where... everything is strange and new, if I'm not strong it would be easy to get overwhelmed. And who was I, a girl that uprooted everything, EVERYTHING, crossed the states and lives in a tiny, make-shift room in a middle of a place she doesn't know. And what was I doing here, just vegetating without a job and a place to run... ??????
Running has a lot to do with keeping my head clear and my bearing strong. It felt like a punch in a sensitive spot when I found out the parks are not free... And all the insecurities came flooding, and I couldn't fall asleep for a long time. I think it's the bed though, I seem to have hard time falling asleep each night, the mattress is beyond hard, it's like sleeping on the floor again. I long to have a job so I can get a futon or something soft...
I realized that the cross country trip was the last part of my healing, very important and so much needed. Symbolic, and freeing of the pain and suffering. I don't even once go back to my previous life and relationship, I don't miss anything about it, I don't think about the past and reminisce anymore, there is nothing left of it. Old things are past and everything is new.
Anyway, today's events didn't help my mood. I was talking with Big Mama and I was gonna see her in her church, as well as other friend, and at the last moment she said she's not showing up. And I was already there, I didn't really want to go there, I value reverence and holiness, I'm an Adventist, not Pentecostal... I don't want to talk about this church. But I met some lovely people and was pleased I could talk a lot during the Sabbath school, though it was all over the place. Then I found this other friend and I had a chance to chat with him for a short while. Once again (how not surprising!!!) he was talking to me about Big Brother. And I was ready to blow up! I gave him a little too much Polish attitude, I apologized, but I realized that I am soooooooooo angry with Big Brother! I feel like i want to punch hin in a face and that's the only thing that will make me sane again! And if he thinks that's cute, I'll punch again! Man, I became livid! I went back to my car and I wanted to cry, to scream, to get all my frustrations out and shout it out right in his face, and I was so upset!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I don't ever want to see him again, even though I know it's a lie! If I could I'd be banging my head against the wall. I came home feeling beyond miserable, first for not enjoying the church at all, second being literally pissed. I stuffed my mouth with some dairy free chocolate and went to sleep for like 2-3 hours, dreaming creepy dreams - what else- about Big Brother. Sigh! There is no escape. No way out. If this continues I'll be seriously considering moving to Alaska and living in the middle of nowehre making friends with bears and eagles.
On the other hand it's interesting how I'm going through some kind of stages here. First was the bubbly euphoria I was in. Now I feel lost for not having a place to belong and fit in. And I can't seem to be able to deal with that, and my anger at Big Brother, I don't understand where it all comes from, I don't even understand what's going on with me exactly, and I don't know how to handle it properly. So I just surf through it and it makes me insane. If I understand the whats, the whys I would know what to do about it. I'm so all over the place... my mind runs back and forth, I can't concentrate, can't focus, I'd sit and do nothing for a long time my mind wandering creating stories and movies until I snap out of it, I feed my anger about creating negative movies, I want to let it out through running and can't, I long to be in somebody's arms and be loved, and yet I feel like kicking in the butt every guy that may ever come my way. I absolutely don't know what's wrong with me and today only made it worse. I hope this stage passes soon.
My running adventures are over and everything started going downhill from there. It turned out that I've been winging it all the time. The Folsom Lake park is PAID, paid, not free, madness, I was so shocked you gonna ask me to pay $12 just to go and run there?????? I told the dude at the gate what I think about this idea (in kind words) but when I went to run by the river, they turned it to a park which is paid too!!! And all this time I didn't know, but I could have been charged a fee for not having a pass... I was so miserable! Ok, ok, there is no need for feeling desperate (yes there is!), there is always a way out. I have two options, well, three. ONE: I can just go and try to wing it each time trying to find out how lucky I am (the gate rarely has a person, and I have yet to see a ranger driving around). TWO, I can go back to drawing board and try to find another park, somewhere to run or just embrace the city streets, like I had to do for 4 years in Philadelphia. THREE, I can start thinking like a true Polish person and find a way around it. I can already come up with at least two ways I can get around the law and not pay...and still run there... ayayay... :/
So last night I came home and suddenly everything hit me all at once. I fell into pieces and splayed out on the floor... Suddenly I started questioning what am I doing here, who I am and where do I belong... I don't really belong anywhere right now, I'd like to fit somewhere but I don't know where... everything is strange and new, if I'm not strong it would be easy to get overwhelmed. And who was I, a girl that uprooted everything, EVERYTHING, crossed the states and lives in a tiny, make-shift room in a middle of a place she doesn't know. And what was I doing here, just vegetating without a job and a place to run... ??????
Running has a lot to do with keeping my head clear and my bearing strong. It felt like a punch in a sensitive spot when I found out the parks are not free... And all the insecurities came flooding, and I couldn't fall asleep for a long time. I think it's the bed though, I seem to have hard time falling asleep each night, the mattress is beyond hard, it's like sleeping on the floor again. I long to have a job so I can get a futon or something soft...
I realized that the cross country trip was the last part of my healing, very important and so much needed. Symbolic, and freeing of the pain and suffering. I don't even once go back to my previous life and relationship, I don't miss anything about it, I don't think about the past and reminisce anymore, there is nothing left of it. Old things are past and everything is new.
Anyway, today's events didn't help my mood. I was talking with Big Mama and I was gonna see her in her church, as well as other friend, and at the last moment she said she's not showing up. And I was already there, I didn't really want to go there, I value reverence and holiness, I'm an Adventist, not Pentecostal... I don't want to talk about this church. But I met some lovely people and was pleased I could talk a lot during the Sabbath school, though it was all over the place. Then I found this other friend and I had a chance to chat with him for a short while. Once again (how not surprising!!!) he was talking to me about Big Brother. And I was ready to blow up! I gave him a little too much Polish attitude, I apologized, but I realized that I am soooooooooo angry with Big Brother! I feel like i want to punch hin in a face and that's the only thing that will make me sane again! And if he thinks that's cute, I'll punch again! Man, I became livid! I went back to my car and I wanted to cry, to scream, to get all my frustrations out and shout it out right in his face, and I was so upset!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I don't ever want to see him again, even though I know it's a lie! If I could I'd be banging my head against the wall. I came home feeling beyond miserable, first for not enjoying the church at all, second being literally pissed. I stuffed my mouth with some dairy free chocolate and went to sleep for like 2-3 hours, dreaming creepy dreams - what else- about Big Brother. Sigh! There is no escape. No way out. If this continues I'll be seriously considering moving to Alaska and living in the middle of nowehre making friends with bears and eagles.
On the other hand it's interesting how I'm going through some kind of stages here. First was the bubbly euphoria I was in. Now I feel lost for not having a place to belong and fit in. And I can't seem to be able to deal with that, and my anger at Big Brother, I don't understand where it all comes from, I don't even understand what's going on with me exactly, and I don't know how to handle it properly. So I just surf through it and it makes me insane. If I understand the whats, the whys I would know what to do about it. I'm so all over the place... my mind runs back and forth, I can't concentrate, can't focus, I'd sit and do nothing for a long time my mind wandering creating stories and movies until I snap out of it, I feed my anger about creating negative movies, I want to let it out through running and can't, I long to be in somebody's arms and be loved, and yet I feel like kicking in the butt every guy that may ever come my way. I absolutely don't know what's wrong with me and today only made it worse. I hope this stage passes soon.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Oct 19
I feel so accomplished!!!!! I got done a lot today! I got a contact for another staffing agency that wants to talk to me and see me next week :) That's great! And there are two job fairs I'm going to next week as well. I made an appointment with Cali DMV to register my car in CA and switch my driver licence to CA. I also applied for my student loan defferment for next 6 months, because obviously I can't pay the $300 a month right now. But I'm thinking of going back to school for photography here in CA, maybe online certification.. I actually talked with a rep from the Art Institute about either Portrait Photography program or Studio Photography. There is campus here in Sac. But it all depends on me getting a job and getting either a scholarship or a grant. I can't burden myself financially too much, I already have two student loans I pay off and a credit card to boot! Aside from bills. We'll see. But that would be so amazing if I could go back to school for something that I absolutely love!!!!
So anyway, I finally talked to the insurance person that handles my accident claim. He was not nice at all, and given the fact that I've never been in car accident at all and didn't really know what to do, he should have had more patience with me and should have quit talking insurance language! And when I was asking questions, he got annoyed. Dude, you don't know a thing about customer service, may know a lot about insurance but working with people requires patience and lots of love for them and actually wanting to help them. And that's speaking from my own experience as a car insurance CS! So now I need to have the damage assessed by some place in Sacramento, and on top of it - which I didn't know - I have $500 deductable. Yeah, right! Ha! And the reason I didn't know is because I used to be on my dad's insurance and dad put all our cars on mum's name and now - GET THIS - they insist on talking to the insurance holder, otherwise I'll be financially responsible for any damage I did to the other car I hit. And the insurance holder is my mum, who not only can barely speak English, but lives IN POLAND now! And I told the dude over and over, so he eventually agreed to have my mum e-mail them. So I called mum, woke them up (time change, 9 hours difference forward!) and spoke with mum. Oh, this is gonna be fun! :) But in all reality, I may just get my front fixed up from a junk yard or something, just gotta find a new Yaris bumper in at least somewhat similar color and find people that'd do it for cheaper. ;) Which I'm sure I will. Just not right now.
My butt muscles still hurt, sometimes really bad. That's from the final night of sleeping in a car, that really did me in. It's like my muscles locked or something. But I'm thinking that since I'm not working right now, it would be an easy thing to do Modern Manna cleanse, at least the basic one. I may call them up and see if I can pick it up one day.
So now I'll be off to the Lake! I've been sitting all day, I'm aching to move. I think I'll go running :) And then Sabbath starts, ah, such blessed Sabbath rest! I'm expecting a call from one friend, but whether he calls or not, well, we'll see. Always gotta have plan B, right? ;)
So anyway, I finally talked to the insurance person that handles my accident claim. He was not nice at all, and given the fact that I've never been in car accident at all and didn't really know what to do, he should have had more patience with me and should have quit talking insurance language! And when I was asking questions, he got annoyed. Dude, you don't know a thing about customer service, may know a lot about insurance but working with people requires patience and lots of love for them and actually wanting to help them. And that's speaking from my own experience as a car insurance CS! So now I need to have the damage assessed by some place in Sacramento, and on top of it - which I didn't know - I have $500 deductable. Yeah, right! Ha! And the reason I didn't know is because I used to be on my dad's insurance and dad put all our cars on mum's name and now - GET THIS - they insist on talking to the insurance holder, otherwise I'll be financially responsible for any damage I did to the other car I hit. And the insurance holder is my mum, who not only can barely speak English, but lives IN POLAND now! And I told the dude over and over, so he eventually agreed to have my mum e-mail them. So I called mum, woke them up (time change, 9 hours difference forward!) and spoke with mum. Oh, this is gonna be fun! :) But in all reality, I may just get my front fixed up from a junk yard or something, just gotta find a new Yaris bumper in at least somewhat similar color and find people that'd do it for cheaper. ;) Which I'm sure I will. Just not right now.
My butt muscles still hurt, sometimes really bad. That's from the final night of sleeping in a car, that really did me in. It's like my muscles locked or something. But I'm thinking that since I'm not working right now, it would be an easy thing to do Modern Manna cleanse, at least the basic one. I may call them up and see if I can pick it up one day.
So now I'll be off to the Lake! I've been sitting all day, I'm aching to move. I think I'll go running :) And then Sabbath starts, ah, such blessed Sabbath rest! I'm expecting a call from one friend, but whether he calls or not, well, we'll see. Always gotta have plan B, right? ;)
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Oct 18
I made it late to the Folsom Lake because I was wasting time on Facebook. I got there by sundown, wanted to just walk and think.. met up with a friend for lunch today, we spent over 2 hours just talking, soooo much to talk about, and I needed to process all the information I've learned today. And there was a lot! And before Daniela came over, I had a nice long chat with Kim, my other roomate, and I've learned a lot from her too, about the house, Dick and just living there, so I wanted to think that over as well.
It's so very interesting that every person that I talk to (from the Cali people I know) they all want to know if I called Big Brother and told him I'm here. And they all want to talk with me about him. I, of course like it, but find it rather suspicious. And somehow they all know some things about me, some bits here and there... things that pretty much only one Cali person knew.... something was happening here before I got here. I shall investigate, but I think I know who's behind it.
So I'm in the Park and it got rather dark... now, sundown and past that are my favorite times for walks, alone or with a hot guy next to me, lol, either way I love it. And then I start seeing alot of people either walking, running or biking with funny little lights on their heads. It was making me laugh at first, but then I thought that at least they know where they're going, because it was getting almost pitch black there. So then this older guy on a bike comes up to me and tells me that up ahead there is a rattle snake in the middle of the path. So we ended up talking about snakes and we eventually poked them off the path. Because there were two, it's their mating season. Man, were they unhappy, rattling their tails at us and striking forward. The guy had a snake stick though, so he was doing all the poking. But now I understand why people wear little flash lights on their heads. And I wouldn't make a step further without putting my flashlight on, I was so glad I had my phone with me with a pretty good flashlight app in it. After that every twig and black spot looked like a snake... I'll either get a little light myself or won't go there at night.
It's so very interesting that every person that I talk to (from the Cali people I know) they all want to know if I called Big Brother and told him I'm here. And they all want to talk with me about him. I, of course like it, but find it rather suspicious. And somehow they all know some things about me, some bits here and there... things that pretty much only one Cali person knew.... something was happening here before I got here. I shall investigate, but I think I know who's behind it.
So I'm in the Park and it got rather dark... now, sundown and past that are my favorite times for walks, alone or with a hot guy next to me, lol, either way I love it. And then I start seeing alot of people either walking, running or biking with funny little lights on their heads. It was making me laugh at first, but then I thought that at least they know where they're going, because it was getting almost pitch black there. So then this older guy on a bike comes up to me and tells me that up ahead there is a rattle snake in the middle of the path. So we ended up talking about snakes and we eventually poked them off the path. Because there were two, it's their mating season. Man, were they unhappy, rattling their tails at us and striking forward. The guy had a snake stick though, so he was doing all the poking. But now I understand why people wear little flash lights on their heads. And I wouldn't make a step further without putting my flashlight on, I was so glad I had my phone with me with a pretty good flashlight app in it. After that every twig and black spot looked like a snake... I'll either get a little light myself or won't go there at night.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Oct 17
I lied. The Folsom lake is huuuuge, and there is no way to run around it as it changes into a wide river up north so I can keep on running and running and never get onto the other side. Unless I hit a bridge. But it's so gorgeous there, stunning, dunes, rocks, gnarly trees, horses, runners and bikers with cute butts... ;) You can even go all the way up to the water. I went for a run again yesterday but could only do 4 miles, I could not beat my muscles into obedience.. not yet. Then I walked for another 4 miles. Or climbed rather. And the hills were killing me! And so are my leg muscles today... It's so amazing there, especially at sunset! Maaaan! :) There is one place there that smells like cookies, I don't know what's up with that...
I've been super ancy about finding a job. So I spent another pretty much all day looking, searching applying.. got little discouraged with the staffing agencies, each one I called specializes in staffing for jobs I can't do. Until I finally found one that was willing to talk to me. Had an appointment with them today morning :) We shall see, God will provide. I just pray that soon. Big Mama promised to get me a whole list of staffing agencies! She's so precious, she got me some things, we just gotta meet up together sometimes soon. Bless her heart!!!
The place where I live is most interesting. It's in a middle of a city, I have half a mile to big shopping centers and yet the neighbor next to me keeps three cows in a large pasture (used to keep buffalos I've been told...) and a rooster keeps crowing in a distance from early morning to late afternoon. The outside feels very much like country. There are trees, tables, garden chairs, porch, clothes line, greass, a garden wannabe... lots of squirrels and plenty of singing birds! It's very dusty here too, my car desperately needs a wash. And my pretty gray/pink terrain running sneakers, which I call Mudders will soon have to be renamed to Dusties. ;) But anyway, I absolutely enjoy the warm and sunny afternoons outside, feels so relaxing, like a vacation. Which is exactly what I need, after all this stress!
But somehow I don't have much time for relaxing. I always have plenty to do, somehow... Still gotta do the DMV, switch my plates and driver licence to Cali, finish up dealing with insurance, defer my student loan, look for jobs (ongoing), edit pics (now that's fun!)... and one day fully move in. If I could only get a bookshelf and some underbed storage I'll be a happy camper. I have so many books, plenty of them still in the trunk because there is no room for them here. Today I worked on organizing everything and finding places of all my things. A number of things will simply have to live in bags...
Sooooo, it's been a week in California. I'm pretty much moved in, I'm registered with a staffing agency... good progress. Stagnation and monotonny kills me. Progress and happenings keeps me alive. God is good!
It just hit me. Today would have been two years anniversary. I gave my all, couldn't give anything more, couldn't push any longer... Choices and Consequences.
I've been super ancy about finding a job. So I spent another pretty much all day looking, searching applying.. got little discouraged with the staffing agencies, each one I called specializes in staffing for jobs I can't do. Until I finally found one that was willing to talk to me. Had an appointment with them today morning :) We shall see, God will provide. I just pray that soon. Big Mama promised to get me a whole list of staffing agencies! She's so precious, she got me some things, we just gotta meet up together sometimes soon. Bless her heart!!!
The place where I live is most interesting. It's in a middle of a city, I have half a mile to big shopping centers and yet the neighbor next to me keeps three cows in a large pasture (used to keep buffalos I've been told...) and a rooster keeps crowing in a distance from early morning to late afternoon. The outside feels very much like country. There are trees, tables, garden chairs, porch, clothes line, greass, a garden wannabe... lots of squirrels and plenty of singing birds! It's very dusty here too, my car desperately needs a wash. And my pretty gray/pink terrain running sneakers, which I call Mudders will soon have to be renamed to Dusties. ;) But anyway, I absolutely enjoy the warm and sunny afternoons outside, feels so relaxing, like a vacation. Which is exactly what I need, after all this stress!
But somehow I don't have much time for relaxing. I always have plenty to do, somehow... Still gotta do the DMV, switch my plates and driver licence to Cali, finish up dealing with insurance, defer my student loan, look for jobs (ongoing), edit pics (now that's fun!)... and one day fully move in. If I could only get a bookshelf and some underbed storage I'll be a happy camper. I have so many books, plenty of them still in the trunk because there is no room for them here. Today I worked on organizing everything and finding places of all my things. A number of things will simply have to live in bags...
Sooooo, it's been a week in California. I'm pretty much moved in, I'm registered with a staffing agency... good progress. Stagnation and monotonny kills me. Progress and happenings keeps me alive. God is good!
It just hit me. Today would have been two years anniversary. I gave my all, couldn't give anything more, couldn't push any longer... Choices and Consequences.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Oct 15
The California euphoria is slowly wearing off (good!) and reality begins to peak through. Been job searching, researching temp agencies and job fairs. The insurance job is no go because it's a higher end job with metrics. Let me tell you something about metrics: they SUUUUCK!!! And make your job beyond stressful. I know, I've been there for 4 years and it ruined my health significantly. Besides, it's clear that's not where God wants me. But I had to pray for peace and patience double today because it's so easy for me to get stressed out because of lack of employment. Cuz I'd want the job NOW! And God usually makes one wait, at least some. All in His time, He knows I need it, He'll provide and won't leave me lacking.
By now everything looks pretty normal and familiar around. At first all was weirdly little odd, different; the street markings, the lights, the houses... Now I'm happy I drive like I've been here for a while. And I know my area pretty good by now, and have some key stores mapped out in my head. The stores here are pretty much the same (best buy, sports authority, cvs, wallgreens, home depot, Macy's, etc, even michaels and Jo-ann) with few additions. There is Sprouts, something like Fresh Market in Willow Grove, pa, just not so pretty and smaller. There is something called Safeway which is everywhere. It's something like Giant on east coast, only it ranges from tiny roadside mart with a gas station to a huge store with lots in it. Ive been to a number of Cali grocery stores by now but few of them actually carry organic kale and carrots... I was rather surprised.
I've been trying to make my tiny little room a bit more girl friendly and livable. It's rather hard on limited budget, but I'm trying. I feel guilt though about spending money, on food, let alone of a door rack or bed comforter. I wish I could live on air right now... And I had to get two pots and a kettle of my own, plus a knife (so dull though, ugh!), cutting board and plastic drawers... I refuse to use Dicks grimy stuff, I'd rather starve than eat from his pots... And I don't want to mix his meat touching things with purely vegan. I even have my own dish washing sponge. But he finally understood that my Vitamix is for no animal products only. And he wants to try a green smoothie :).
I did quite a search online for a park around here. I'm not to keen on the area where I live. Too congested and no nearby parks to run in! I sooo long for open spaces and wilderness, but I have no rights to complain right now. So finally, I found the most amazing place to run: around the Folsom lake!!! It's about 20 minutes drive from me but it's so worth it!!! Went running toda! Humble 2.5 miles but that's a lot right now for my poor broken body... My hip, or rather butt muscles hurt so much sometimes. I would so love a massage or something. Nancy worked on my back, the right side and it feels loads better. But I'm still so tight everywhere, so broken and in pain sometimes... :( that's why I need to run again. Maybe I can resume training for half marathon (got to 8 miles before the hell broke loose) and eventually run one. We'll see. But the Folsom
Lake seems big on the map, but in reality is much smaller. One day im sure I can run around it full circle. And it's beautiful there, so many romantic spots!!!! Which make me little sad, but whatever, who needs a guy anyway, right? They all turn to any pretty face saying the same sweet things to each one. There, a bit of my frustration for you! I think I hear a poem coming on....
By now everything looks pretty normal and familiar around. At first all was weirdly little odd, different; the street markings, the lights, the houses... Now I'm happy I drive like I've been here for a while. And I know my area pretty good by now, and have some key stores mapped out in my head. The stores here are pretty much the same (best buy, sports authority, cvs, wallgreens, home depot, Macy's, etc, even michaels and Jo-ann) with few additions. There is Sprouts, something like Fresh Market in Willow Grove, pa, just not so pretty and smaller. There is something called Safeway which is everywhere. It's something like Giant on east coast, only it ranges from tiny roadside mart with a gas station to a huge store with lots in it. Ive been to a number of Cali grocery stores by now but few of them actually carry organic kale and carrots... I was rather surprised.
I've been trying to make my tiny little room a bit more girl friendly and livable. It's rather hard on limited budget, but I'm trying. I feel guilt though about spending money, on food, let alone of a door rack or bed comforter. I wish I could live on air right now... And I had to get two pots and a kettle of my own, plus a knife (so dull though, ugh!), cutting board and plastic drawers... I refuse to use Dicks grimy stuff, I'd rather starve than eat from his pots... And I don't want to mix his meat touching things with purely vegan. I even have my own dish washing sponge. But he finally understood that my Vitamix is for no animal products only. And he wants to try a green smoothie :).
I did quite a search online for a park around here. I'm not to keen on the area where I live. Too congested and no nearby parks to run in! I sooo long for open spaces and wilderness, but I have no rights to complain right now. So finally, I found the most amazing place to run: around the Folsom lake!!! It's about 20 minutes drive from me but it's so worth it!!! Went running toda! Humble 2.5 miles but that's a lot right now for my poor broken body... My hip, or rather butt muscles hurt so much sometimes. I would so love a massage or something. Nancy worked on my back, the right side and it feels loads better. But I'm still so tight everywhere, so broken and in pain sometimes... :( that's why I need to run again. Maybe I can resume training for half marathon (got to 8 miles before the hell broke loose) and eventually run one. We'll see. But the Folsom
Lake seems big on the map, but in reality is much smaller. One day im sure I can run around it full circle. And it's beautiful there, so many romantic spots!!!! Which make me little sad, but whatever, who needs a guy anyway, right? They all turn to any pretty face saying the same sweet things to each one. There, a bit of my frustration for you! I think I hear a poem coming on....
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Oct 14
What a lovely time spent with Nancy in Hollister!!!!! We talked till we both nearly passed out, I got to try my hand at viola, Nancy played her guitar and I nearly cried... Had tears in my eyes, it sounded so beautiful and oh how I miss it!!!!!! Makes me tear up when I think about playing it, and how nicely I played years back and now I can't do a thing... In fact, I freeze up, when somebody hands me the instrument. :(. I so want to relearn it and yet I can't :( I may just die with the feeling of musical inadequacy and unfulfilled desires of romancing the instrument... Like loving someone that you know you can never have for yourself. Sad.
Anyway, it was a lovely time that I'll cherish forever. I will visit again! And three hours drive all of a sudden seemed like nothing comparing to the trip I just recently made :). And three hours is a long time to think, to remember other good Cali times, and to try hard not to think about certain persons that just keep cropping up :)
I had a huge owl nearly fly into my car on my way back!
Anyway, it was a lovely time that I'll cherish forever. I will visit again! And three hours drive all of a sudden seemed like nothing comparing to the trip I just recently made :). And three hours is a long time to think, to remember other good Cali times, and to try hard not to think about certain persons that just keep cropping up :)
I had a huge owl nearly fly into my car on my way back!
Oct 13
Hollister area is just stunning! Beautiful mountains, looking like giant mounds of freshly poured out sand. A very lovely view! I am amazed at the variety of California's scenery. The state has pretty much everything, from flattest flats to hilly and rocky mountains to climb, from ocean beaches to snow skiing, from farm lands to deep forests with amazing aged sequoias... You choose and pick what you want! At this time everything looks rather burnt from the sun and there isn't all that much green left, but I still admire how this state is almost like a country of its own. There are some rather queer people here, lots of them fake looking, lots of pot, but they are also more relaxed and easy going, and generally happier. Could it be the sun? :)
Today was quite lovely weather wise. Lovely sunny and warm :).
I apologize for my dirty windshield, but I haven't had the chance to clean my car yet. Here is going towards Hollister, Monterey Bay area:
Today was quite lovely weather wise. Lovely sunny and warm :).
I apologize for my dirty windshield, but I haven't had the chance to clean my car yet. Here is going towards Hollister, Monterey Bay area:
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Oct 13
I don't think I got sad even once since coming to Cali. :). No sad, no lonely, no bored, no homesick... Noooo, it's been too exciting every single day, I'm like on some drug or something, high in happiness and excitement!
And today in church I couldn't even pay attention too much to the sabbath school, all I wanted to do was to give Sabbath hugs to every single person there and tell them I love them! I didn't know what was up with me, I was so happy to be in church and worship with other Christians! And I met some incredible people, some Ukrainian and Romanian people, exchanged phone numbers and hang out with the pastors wife and mum during potluck. Man, I'm so grateful for being fed (lol!!!) and we sat and talked till they started to clean up. Amazing people! They promised to take me hiking and show me some amazing mountain trails!
So now I'm off to Hollister to meet with Nancy and stay at her place overnight :). Oooooh, I'm so happy here!!! Or maybe it's just beginners excitement, life will probably find its course once I settle down more with a job and stuff... But life will never get boring, never!!!! :).
Aaaaaaaand, I got a lovely text from Big Brother last night, I am so happy he didn't forget about me.... :). Joy!
And today in church I couldn't even pay attention too much to the sabbath school, all I wanted to do was to give Sabbath hugs to every single person there and tell them I love them! I didn't know what was up with me, I was so happy to be in church and worship with other Christians! And I met some incredible people, some Ukrainian and Romanian people, exchanged phone numbers and hang out with the pastors wife and mum during potluck. Man, I'm so grateful for being fed (lol!!!) and we sat and talked till they started to clean up. Amazing people! They promised to take me hiking and show me some amazing mountain trails!
So now I'm off to Hollister to meet with Nancy and stay at her place overnight :). Oooooh, I'm so happy here!!! Or maybe it's just beginners excitement, life will probably find its course once I settle down more with a job and stuff... But life will never get boring, never!!!! :).
Aaaaaaaand, I got a lovely text from Big Brother last night, I am so happy he didn't forget about me.... :). Joy!
Friday, October 12, 2012
Oct 12
What a lovely day! Praise Jesus so much, because I have everything I need (and I believe I'll have a job soon too), I have food, bed, roof over my head, my car still works, I have money, and I live with lovely people!!!
And if I ever start grumbling, Lord please remind me all the goodness You blessed me with in the past and how You got me out of my life's mess!
It looks like I'll be visiting a friend this Sunday in Hollister :) 2 hour drive and sightseeing! I can't wait to spend the day with precious friends and see more of Cali!!! And I spoke with Pat Arrabito and got invited to the Calistoga church up north, about 2 hours also :). How lovely!!!!! :):):)!!!! I can't wait to meet half the California!!!!!! :)!!!!!!!
I'm really tired. Praise God for the Sabbath! Been cleaning, then unpacking all day. How is it that I could fit all my things into my car but now I can't fit them in my room???? I have a total mess here, books and clothes and DVDs everywhere... I have no room for them. :( Dunno what to do... I'm thinking of getting some shelves and some drawers. It'll cost money though.... Rats! :)
I finally got to know one of my lovely roomies, Irina. Absolutely adorable girl, nearly my age, we sat outside and talked for a long time today :). Precious soul!
Can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring :) going to roseville church which is less than 5 minutes away from me. :). Gotta start somewhere :)
And if I ever start grumbling, Lord please remind me all the goodness You blessed me with in the past and how You got me out of my life's mess!
It looks like I'll be visiting a friend this Sunday in Hollister :) 2 hour drive and sightseeing! I can't wait to spend the day with precious friends and see more of Cali!!! And I spoke with Pat Arrabito and got invited to the Calistoga church up north, about 2 hours also :). How lovely!!!!! :):):)!!!! I can't wait to meet half the California!!!!!! :)!!!!!!!
I'm really tired. Praise God for the Sabbath! Been cleaning, then unpacking all day. How is it that I could fit all my things into my car but now I can't fit them in my room???? I have a total mess here, books and clothes and DVDs everywhere... I have no room for them. :( Dunno what to do... I'm thinking of getting some shelves and some drawers. It'll cost money though.... Rats! :)
I finally got to know one of my lovely roomies, Irina. Absolutely adorable girl, nearly my age, we sat outside and talked for a long time today :). Precious soul!
Can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring :) going to roseville church which is less than 5 minutes away from me. :). Gotta start somewhere :)
Oct 12
The insurance people keep bothering me so early in the morning! And by the time I get around to call them back they're already closed! Darn time change! :):):) In fact, I really enjoy it. The days seem so much longer here.. I think it's fabulous :)
God's blessing me from the start!!!! He's so good to me!!! This morning I decided to sleep in but really couldn't. Got up and before having breakfast - which I couldn't have anyway, in all this dirt?? - I started a house clean up project, whether Dick liked it or not. Kitchen (which was the worst!), dining room, living room, hallway, the floor, fridge, the whole works. So I'm half way into the living room and he comes in, with eyes bulging out in surprise ). He offered to get me some cleaners, so I sent him out to get paper towels. Lol, and he went! Hahaha! But came back with two. I mean, come on dude! It took me over 3 hours to get it done but maaaan, the place is so much brighter! I saw Dick walking and looking around with a wild smile on his face. He said he never seen this place so clean. :). And I didn't even touch the blinds or his numerous fake trees, that would take me forever and I have my own trunk to unpack. And I didn't clean the whole fridge, just my area, and I wouldn't touch some of his appliance... I told him that some things I was just too disgusted to touch while pointing at the toaster, and at that very moment two of his toasts popped out of it. Ayayay... :)! But the floor is so lovely to walk on, I actually scrubbed the bottoms of my slippers after cleaning. :). And finally had breakfast. Which was more like lunch :)
So we did finances and I guess Dick was grateful for what I did that he dropped $200 off my deposit!!!! Wow! So nice!!! I mean, I wasn't trying to do any favors, it was just so unlivable...
And I'm still unpacking... And waiting for the Internet guy to call back so I can get into wireless on my laptop. Putting my clothes into my tiny room feels very much like packing the car before leaving... I need to use every nook and cranny available...
Aaaaand, where is that California sun, huh????? It's chilly out today.... :/
God's blessing me from the start!!!! He's so good to me!!! This morning I decided to sleep in but really couldn't. Got up and before having breakfast - which I couldn't have anyway, in all this dirt?? - I started a house clean up project, whether Dick liked it or not. Kitchen (which was the worst!), dining room, living room, hallway, the floor, fridge, the whole works. So I'm half way into the living room and he comes in, with eyes bulging out in surprise ). He offered to get me some cleaners, so I sent him out to get paper towels. Lol, and he went! Hahaha! But came back with two. I mean, come on dude! It took me over 3 hours to get it done but maaaan, the place is so much brighter! I saw Dick walking and looking around with a wild smile on his face. He said he never seen this place so clean. :). And I didn't even touch the blinds or his numerous fake trees, that would take me forever and I have my own trunk to unpack. And I didn't clean the whole fridge, just my area, and I wouldn't touch some of his appliance... I told him that some things I was just too disgusted to touch while pointing at the toaster, and at that very moment two of his toasts popped out of it. Ayayay... :)! But the floor is so lovely to walk on, I actually scrubbed the bottoms of my slippers after cleaning. :). And finally had breakfast. Which was more like lunch :)
So we did finances and I guess Dick was grateful for what I did that he dropped $200 off my deposit!!!! Wow! So nice!!! I mean, I wasn't trying to do any favors, it was just so unlivable...
And I'm still unpacking... And waiting for the Internet guy to call back so I can get into wireless on my laptop. Putting my clothes into my tiny room feels very much like packing the car before leaving... I need to use every nook and cranny available...
Aaaaand, where is that California sun, huh????? It's chilly out today.... :/
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Oct 11
I've been exploring. One thing I know, the gas is expensive here. At least a whole dollar more than in the east coast. An that's a bummer if you want to explore the state and have no job. Yet.
I'm a little ticked off now because I'm locked out of the house. Dick never really did end up giving me the spare key, and it turned out everyone is out. And it doesn't matter that he leaves the garage open, there is no way into the house! Grrrr... But it's my fault, I should have gotten it before I left, should have known better... :(. Who knows, I may even have to sleep in the car... Again... Lol!!!! :)
So I've been driving around the area, getting to know the streets, stores etc.. Went down to rancho cordova and up to Roseville, looping around and visitong stores. Been out almost 5 hours... Soon I'll be Making my way around with my eyes closed :).
I have so much to unpack, so much to do, I can't stand wasting time... Unless its a quality time with a great buddy, then it can be wasted :) Praise God for technology, I can always call my lovely east coast people, I miss them.... And Nat will be visiting often!!!! :) Praying for good buddies here though :)
Ok, Dick is not answering his phone and I will not waste time! Off to whole foods then :)
I'm a little ticked off now because I'm locked out of the house. Dick never really did end up giving me the spare key, and it turned out everyone is out. And it doesn't matter that he leaves the garage open, there is no way into the house! Grrrr... But it's my fault, I should have gotten it before I left, should have known better... :(. Who knows, I may even have to sleep in the car... Again... Lol!!!! :)
So I've been driving around the area, getting to know the streets, stores etc.. Went down to rancho cordova and up to Roseville, looping around and visitong stores. Been out almost 5 hours... Soon I'll be Making my way around with my eyes closed :).
I have so much to unpack, so much to do, I can't stand wasting time... Unless its a quality time with a great buddy, then it can be wasted :) Praise God for technology, I can always call my lovely east coast people, I miss them.... And Nat will be visiting often!!!! :) Praying for good buddies here though :)
Ok, Dick is not answering his phone and I will not waste time! Off to whole foods then :)
October 11
A new day in California. Slept like a baby. :). I'm sitting in a parking lot watching the wind moving the tops of palm trees. There is a mix of palm trees and regular trees here... Some of the palms look like long pens with feathery tops.. :)
So I ventured out to drive around and familiarize myself with the area. Last night Dick took me for a spin around few blocks but it was already getting dark. So I'm exploring on my own. I need few specific shops and a park to run in. I need some things for the bathroom, cleaners... This place is unbelievably dirty, I can't believ people live in such grime! I spoke wih Jennifer today and she said no wonder this place is cheaper than most. Lol! I'll help them clean up, well, I'll have to because I will not buy any food until I clean this place up. I can't even touch a thing, a real, inch thick greasy grime!!! And there are two women living there! Well! Anyway, I just had subway and that will hold me for the rest of the day. And there is filtered water in the house so I'm good. I may even lose weight, which will be good.
I spoke with number of people today, some contacts in Cali, some from east coast... Got some emails, lots of texts. That made me very happy as it is easy to get lonesome and friendless in a new place. And I gotta keep busy! Which I predict I will be for the next few days!!!!! God is good!!!!!
And remember the lollipops with scorpions in them? :)
So I ventured out to drive around and familiarize myself with the area. Last night Dick took me for a spin around few blocks but it was already getting dark. So I'm exploring on my own. I need few specific shops and a park to run in. I need some things for the bathroom, cleaners... This place is unbelievably dirty, I can't believ people live in such grime! I spoke wih Jennifer today and she said no wonder this place is cheaper than most. Lol! I'll help them clean up, well, I'll have to because I will not buy any food until I clean this place up. I can't even touch a thing, a real, inch thick greasy grime!!! And there are two women living there! Well! Anyway, I just had subway and that will hold me for the rest of the day. And there is filtered water in the house so I'm good. I may even lose weight, which will be good.
I spoke with number of people today, some contacts in Cali, some from east coast... Got some emails, lots of texts. That made me very happy as it is easy to get lonesome and friendless in a new place. And I gotta keep busy! Which I predict I will be for the next few days!!!!! God is good!!!!!
And remember the lollipops with scorpions in them? :)
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Final day
Im about to pass out. I think I've lost most of my senses, I'm so tired. But I'm here. I made it safely. I still can't believe it. :)
I couldn't wait to be done with Nevada. It got so boring, flat nothings. Just distant mountains And it took forever. I finally entered California and the scenery changed drastically. Mountain hills with pine trees all over! It was beautiful! I could imagine myself hiking these trails... Breathtaking!!!
In all other states, whenever I drove through mountains it was always in a canyon, with mountains closing in on both sides. Not Cali! Here the road took me to the very tops of the mountains, with most incredible views from high up top! What views!!! This was the most challenging drive of them all! I so wanted to see the scenery but really couldn't. The road was like a serpent, twisting left and right, very suddenly, taking me very high and daring to not pay attention... With deadly truth below! Plus construction areas everywhere! And there were little cabins on the sides of the mountains, and most gorgeous river down below, and train tracks that ran very close to the rocky walls... Again, stunning!
I made my way down the mountains, found my exit and found my place. The end of my journey. Or rather... The beginning.
God knows that I need two things: people around me and me keeping busy. With the transformation that took place in me I became a person that needs social interactions. I need people around me, to talk to, to chill together, do stuff. Otherwise I go nuts. And I gotta keep busy so I don't think and analyze and reminisce, thus get sad.
Dick was very nice and helpful! Brought Jim the neighbor who's electrician to fix my plugs. And took me around neighborhood to show me nearby stores. And made me a salad, because I havent had anything since noon... which I couldn't finish. I couldn't unpack yet. Poor car, mangled up face and I'm suspecting something's up with the breaks. I dunno... I can't type, I'm gonna pass out any second... What I really wanted to say that God is good, I thought I'll be miserable from the start but he brought people and things kept happening and I was busy all the time ... So much to do tomorrow... I need sleep. I think I have bed sores or something... Right hip huuuurts! Bed! Ivll write more tomorrow. Sleep...
And that's Wyoming:
I couldn't wait to be done with Nevada. It got so boring, flat nothings. Just distant mountains And it took forever. I finally entered California and the scenery changed drastically. Mountain hills with pine trees all over! It was beautiful! I could imagine myself hiking these trails... Breathtaking!!!
In all other states, whenever I drove through mountains it was always in a canyon, with mountains closing in on both sides. Not Cali! Here the road took me to the very tops of the mountains, with most incredible views from high up top! What views!!! This was the most challenging drive of them all! I so wanted to see the scenery but really couldn't. The road was like a serpent, twisting left and right, very suddenly, taking me very high and daring to not pay attention... With deadly truth below! Plus construction areas everywhere! And there were little cabins on the sides of the mountains, and most gorgeous river down below, and train tracks that ran very close to the rocky walls... Again, stunning!
I made my way down the mountains, found my exit and found my place. The end of my journey. Or rather... The beginning.
God knows that I need two things: people around me and me keeping busy. With the transformation that took place in me I became a person that needs social interactions. I need people around me, to talk to, to chill together, do stuff. Otherwise I go nuts. And I gotta keep busy so I don't think and analyze and reminisce, thus get sad.
Dick was very nice and helpful! Brought Jim the neighbor who's electrician to fix my plugs. And took me around neighborhood to show me nearby stores. And made me a salad, because I havent had anything since noon... which I couldn't finish. I couldn't unpack yet. Poor car, mangled up face and I'm suspecting something's up with the breaks. I dunno... I can't type, I'm gonna pass out any second... What I really wanted to say that God is good, I thought I'll be miserable from the start but he brought people and things kept happening and I was busy all the time ... So much to do tomorrow... I need sleep. I think I have bed sores or something... Right hip huuuurts! Bed! Ivll write more tomorrow. Sleep...
And that's Wyoming:
Day 4
A little rest stop in the middle of nowhere in Nevada. My little Toyota is doing sooo good, despite her mangled up face :). We're climbing some insane hills and then fly a mile or two down on neutral :). What joy!!! And the sunrise was so stunning that I actually stopped on the side to take pictures and do a little recording :)! And the mountains, so grand, especially when they're so incredibly close! Nevada is certainly a sandy land.. I saw a gorgeous coyote run across the road, right in front of me :)
I also called parents in Poland while on the road and I give regular travel reports to a number of my friends. My brother just said I'm like a cheetah in a car :):):)!!!
So the rest stops on west coast are weird... The toilets are metal!!! With white plastic seat - I hope nobody sits on them! But going is like peeing in a metal bucket... Sorry, can't help it, it's just weird! There is a gray and long hair dude with a guitar in the parking lot. :). He looks like Willy Nelson :). I love it!!!!
And a bit of Nevada for you:
I also called parents in Poland while on the road and I give regular travel reports to a number of my friends. My brother just said I'm like a cheetah in a car :):):)!!!
So the rest stops on west coast are weird... The toilets are metal!!! With white plastic seat - I hope nobody sits on them! But going is like peeing in a metal bucket... Sorry, can't help it, it's just weird! There is a gray and long hair dude with a guitar in the parking lot. :). He looks like Willy Nelson :). I love it!!!!
And a bit of Nevada for you:
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