Oct 25

Some days you just gotta survive, but most days are just plain amazing!  Today I had to survive.  But good things happened.  Had an interview with a staffing company in the early morning, I edited a lot of pictures, took care of some things, talked to my brother and another staffing company called that they have a job for me.  Good :)  I'm very happy about it.  But it was a bit lonely since I didn't do anything social today. 

I gave my local park a go today.  I was desperate.  Took a 2 hour fast walk, three loops around from 6 to 8pm.  At night.  And I actually liked it.  Safe.  Dimly lit, but still, lit.  Not too many people.  Quite pretty too.  I've decided it can be my perfect pre-night time walking area.  Or even jogging if I want to.  My hands are still stiff though, from the cold, and they won't type fast... I need hot herbal tea now... Or a hot guy.... Or both... :):):)

Oct 24

Today's adventures consisted of going to Cali DMV and getting things rolling.  Was dreaming of getting my papers today, but I guess I can keep on dreaming! LOL!  The CA registration won't be completed till I smog test my car.  Of course I had to ask lots of questions, cuz there is no such thing in Pennsylvania.  And then I gotta go back.  Made an appt two weeks from now, hopefully I'll get it done by then.  As for driver licence, well, it turned out they had me take a test!!!!!  I was like WHAAAAAT????  Overall I was very pleased with myself.  Considering all the crazy and insane California rules that I had no clue about, I had only 4 mistakes too many ;)  Of course I'll be retaking the test.  But what joke, the woman marked all the right answers on my wrong ones, I just gotta memorize which ones they are!!! LOL.  Or would it be better to actually learn the rules? Hahaha!!! She gave me a study book.  Of course I was to fail the first time; when I first came here I wasn't even sure if it's ok to turn on red, if there is no 'no turn on red' sign.  Only I don't think such signs exist here; again, it's a PA thing.  Much to learn! :)  But what fun! :):):)  Minut spending the money, DMV charged some hard cash for the process... 

I'm in a middle of booking an engagement shoot for this Monday.  It'll be my first paid Cali photography job.  How cool is that???  Praise God!



It's a bit chilly out here right now.  When the sun is out it is quite lovely, but otherwise gets cold.  Neat.  Very fall weather, very romantic :)  I had a choice today, going running or washing my car.  I figured washing my car will be somewhat of an excercise.  Ooooh, I gave her a good scrub, and then some inexpert waxing.  She looks beautiful :)  Though I still can't get the birds doodoos off; I know there is something for it.  Buuuut, nothing's lost running-wise.  I may have found myself a pretty cool running buddy. :)  We'll see tomorrow :)

Oct 23

Tomorrow it'll be two weeks in Cali.  And I already feel at home.  I know my streets, been here and there, in fact, everyday I get to go to a new place and discover new stores, sights.  It's amazing.  And today I realized that this is exactly where I need to be.  God placed me here, and for a reason.  And I know I'm gonna be alright :)


California is all about rules.  There are rules everywhere and about everything, and each day I learn something new.  Like this carpooling thing.  There is no such thing in PA.  But here there is a special lane for carpools, it's the left, fastest lane and it's marked.  In my area it's gotta be at least 2 people to carpool, and in San Fran area it takes three to carpool.  Otherwise they get you, and you pay waaaay through the nose!
For some reason nobody here minds the construction sites.  I mean the speed limit.  It says 25 but they all go 45 nonetheless.  But don't seem to get upset at me when I chose to go 30 on the left lane, hehehe. 
All the food here is all about mexican food.  Rice and beans, ay baby! And Spanish is THE second language.  You've got it made if you're bilingual in Spanish, it's so much easier to get a job! There are flocks of hispanic people here. 



I've been to two job fairs, yesterday and today.  Yesterday was a joke.  I've never been to such pityful job fair... buuuuut! :) I got in touch with a new staffing company through it and I have a job interview on Thursday for some data entry job.  Hey, I'll take anything right now! :)  Could be somewhat decent pay, for starters :)  So happy! Today's job fair was very professional.  I met up with Big Mama at this hotel where the fair took place, for some reason she wants to change her job so we both were going from booth to booth.  Maaan, I could learn so much from her! She was shaking hands with everybody there, and wiggling information out of them in such way that they were telling us all the inside job positions they had, even the ones they didn't advertise.  Was really cool watching her! And I had my resume professionally looked at.  Lots of changes to make!  I guess I now have 150 pages of scrap paper LOL
The only thing with me and office job is that I'm really not an office person.  I can do it and I can do it extremally well because I'm super organized but I'm really an artist!  And if I don't have some kind of artistic outlet at work, some good social interactions at work, some creative thinking and expressing involved I start burning out really soon.  I sooo pray that God will provide the RIGHT kind of a job for me!!!!!


I've been dreaming of a guitar.  So much!!!!  I went to craigslist yesterday and found so many amazing ones I could get... If I had a job right now, I could get one immediately out of my savings.  But I don't dare to spend it right now on anything other than bare necessities.  Talking about spending... I did get a good external harddrive though... that was a must because the pics are eating up my laptop space.  Aaaaaand, Big Brother promised CS5, if I get the drive.  What help!  :)  I got a chance to see him.  Met up for a short 5 minutes to hand in the drive.  I am NOT breaking my own rules, that meeting was strictly business related, and purely professional.  Minus the 4 hugs I got from him that day.  Well, that will suffice for a loooooooooooooooooong time! I hope..... :/  It will.  Be strong, be tough, be Polish!  :):):)
Yesterday was actually pretty eventful, that, and I went to visit BellaVita: Danny and Charmaine.  After saying hi to everyone in the office, Danny took me to the house and called for Charmaine to see who came to say hi.  You should have seen her face!!!!  She couldn't stop hugging me, and she had no slightest clue that I moved to Cali.  Oh what a sweet visit that was! The RISEN school was in session, I got a tour of the place and its improvements, and I got my cleanse kit, which I'm going to start this upcoming Sunday.  Or earlier.  Depending on when will I eat my 4 organic potatoes that I got at the co-op store in Sac on Sunday.  I shall not waste a single potato!!! And tomatoes, and the bread.  That's all I have, other than carrots and greens.  And Charmaine invited me to come over next Wednesday for the school's graduation.  Ohhhh that is going to be so exciting, can't wait!!!!!!




So all in all God's been blessing so incredibly much! I'm not lacking in anything, and if I do, I want to be like Paul, who was content no matter what situation he was in.  :)  I believe God will provide the right job in the right time, HIS time.  And my friends circle will expand, I will meet more new people and make friends, and I will start re-learning guitar, learning Russian, maybe even banjo, I will have beautiful brides hiring me to shoot their amazing weddings, and God will open the door for me to use my artistic talents for His service.  I am right where I'm supposed to be.  Thank you Jesus!

Oct 21 :)

God is sooooo good and there may be hope for me yet! LOL

Right now I'm printing copies of my resume for tomorrow's job fair and talking with a potential client :)  It may be my first photography job in California, an engagement shoot :)  Hopefully I can close the deal :)  And I just purchased an amazing 3T external drive to pick up in store tomorrow, because Big Brother promised me a copy of CS5 on it and Im just elated!!! 

Because it was such a good, good day!!!


Got up early to meet up with Daniela at her place (amazing house, loooooooove red kitchens!!!) and we took off to Sac to an outdoor produce market.  It's so lovely there, and then we ended up driving around Sac, sightseeing and stopping here and there for home baked bread or a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice! And Sacramento is such a relaxed city, I absolutely love it :) And so afterwards I almost fell asleep on her couch because it's way too comfortable! From there I ran to meet with Big Mama, she was running a church yard sale (the church that I went to yesterday) so we ended up chatting for quite a while! And I got my things from her too, bless her heart! From there I was running around looking for bread knife, because I got a whole loaf of bread while having nothing to cut it with.  I'm still very limited with what I have.  Makes me quite sad sometimes when I think on all the kitchen things I had to leave behind.... :/

So I got home around 4pm, I was sooooo hungry (been up since 6:30am) that I ripped off the end of my bread and ate it while driving.  LOL.  Gotta survive somehow :):):)!!!! 


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, the printer ate all my paper!  I asked for 20 copies, it printed like 150!!!!  What gives?????


Anyway, so there is hope for my running.  From my research I found out there are 'back' ways into the lake, if I park in a neighborhood that doesn't have 'no parking' sign. California is so law specific! Gotta pay attention to the slighters things, but people somewhow go around it anyway, LOL! So I'll be back in full speed very soon! :)

Good day, good day!  I juiced, and chat-texted with a friend, laughing my head off at the same time! I love witty people :)  And was able to text few words to Big Brother today, without anger, without attitude, without freezing up.  Goooooooood :)  I thought about hard last night, couldn't fall asleep till past 3am so I had lots of time to think.  And I realized that I was simply afraid to face the reality, to accept the facts as they are, it is what it is and you just can't fight it Anya, because it's a lot stronger than you.  It'll make you crazy, mental, insane if you try to fight it, and why would I anyway?  To promote a good image of something that isn't true?  Everybody knows.  Everybody! There is no hiding, but the beautiful part is that everyone is simply trying to help.  In any way they can! How can I not love people???????  God is so good to me! And may His will be done!!!!!!

Oct 20 :(

Forget it.  I'm done.  I feel so low I can crawl and nobody would even notice.  I am so miserable.... :(


My running adventures are over and everything started going downhill from there.  It turned out that I've been winging it all the time.  The Folsom Lake park is PAID, paid, not free, madness, I was so shocked you gonna ask me to pay $12 just to go and run there??????  I told the dude at the gate what I think about this idea (in kind words) but when I went to run by the river, they turned it to a park which is paid too!!!  And all this time I didn't know, but I could have been charged a fee for not having a pass... I was so miserable!  Ok, ok, there is no need for feeling desperate (yes there is!), there is always a way out.  I have two options, well, three.  ONE: I can just go and try to wing it each time trying to find out how lucky I am (the gate rarely has a person, and I have yet to see a ranger driving around).  TWO, I can go back to drawing board and try to find another park, somewhere to run or just embrace the city streets, like I had to do for 4 years in Philadelphia.  THREE, I can start thinking like a true Polish person and find a way around it.  I can already come up with at least two ways I can get around the law and not pay...and still run there... ayayay...    :/


So last night I came home and suddenly everything hit me all at once.  I fell into pieces and splayed out on the floor...  Suddenly I started questioning what am I doing here, who I am and where do I belong... I don't really belong anywhere right now, I'd like to fit somewhere but I don't know where... everything is strange and new, if I'm not strong it would be easy to get overwhelmed.  And who was I, a girl that uprooted everything, EVERYTHING, crossed the states and lives in a tiny, make-shift room in a middle of a place she doesn't know.  And what was I doing here, just vegetating without a job and a place to run... ??????

Running has a lot to do with keeping my head clear and my bearing strong.  It felt like a punch in a sensitive spot when I found out the parks are not free... And all the insecurities came flooding, and I couldn't fall asleep for a long time.  I think it's the bed though, I seem to have hard time falling asleep each night, the mattress is beyond hard, it's like sleeping on the floor again.  I long to have a job so I can get a futon or something soft...

I realized that the cross country trip was the last part of my healing, very important and so much needed.  Symbolic, and freeing of the pain and suffering.  I don't even once go back to my previous life and relationship, I don't miss anything about it, I don't think about the past and reminisce anymore, there is nothing left of it.  Old things are past and everything is new.  



Anyway, today's events didn't help my mood.  I was talking with Big Mama and I was gonna see her in her church, as well as other friend, and at the last moment she said she's not showing up.  And I was already there, I didn't really want to go there, I value reverence  and holiness, I'm an Adventist, not Pentecostal... I don't want to talk about this church.  But I met some lovely people and was pleased I could talk a lot during the Sabbath school, though it was all over the place.  Then I found this other friend and I had a chance to chat with him for a short while.  Once again (how not surprising!!!) he was talking to me about Big Brother.  And I was ready to blow up! I gave him a little too much Polish attitude, I apologized, but I realized that I am soooooooooo angry with Big Brother! I feel like i want to punch hin in a face and that's the only thing that will make me sane again! And if he thinks that's cute, I'll punch again! Man, I became livid!  I went back to my car and I wanted to cry, to scream, to get all my frustrations out and shout it out right in his face, and I was so upset!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I don't ever want to see him again, even though I know it's a lie!  If I could I'd be banging my head against the wall.  I came home feeling beyond miserable, first for not enjoying the church at all, second being literally pissed.  I stuffed my mouth with some dairy free chocolate and went to sleep for like 2-3 hours, dreaming creepy dreams - what else- about Big Brother.  Sigh! There is no escape.  No way out.  If this continues I'll be seriously considering moving to Alaska and living in the middle of nowehre making friends with bears and eagles.

On the other hand it's interesting how I'm going through some kind of stages here.  First was the bubbly euphoria I was in.  Now I feel lost for not having a place to belong and fit in.  And I can't seem to be able to deal with that, and my anger at Big Brother, I don't understand where it all comes from, I don't even understand what's going on with me exactly, and I don't know how to handle it properly.  So I just surf through it and it makes me insane.  If I understand the whats, the whys I would know what to do about it.  I'm so all over the place... my mind runs back and forth, I can't concentrate, can't focus, I'd sit and do nothing for a long time my mind wandering creating stories and movies until I snap out of it, I feed my anger about creating negative movies, I want to let it out through running and can't, I long to be in somebody's arms and be loved, and yet I feel like kicking in the butt every guy that may ever come my way.  I absolutely don't know what's wrong with me and today only made it worse.  I hope this stage passes soon. 

Oct 19

I feel so accomplished!!!!!  I got done a lot today!  I got a contact for another staffing agency that wants to talk to me and see me next week :)  That's great! And there are two job fairs I'm going to next week as well.  I made an appointment with Cali DMV to register my car in CA and switch my driver licence to CA.  I also applied for my student loan defferment for next 6 months, because obviously I can't pay the $300 a month right now.  But I'm thinking of going back to school for photography here in CA, maybe online certification.. I actually talked with a rep from the Art Institute about either Portrait Photography program or Studio Photography.  There is campus here in Sac.  But it all depends on me getting a job and getting either a scholarship or a grant.  I can't burden myself financially too much, I already have two student loans I pay off and a credit card to boot! Aside from bills.  We'll see.  But that would be so amazing if I could go back to school for something that I absolutely love!!!!

So anyway, I finally talked to the insurance person that handles my accident claim.  He was not nice at all, and given the fact that I've never been in car accident at all and didn't really know what to do, he should have had more patience with me and should have quit talking insurance language! And when I was asking questions, he got annoyed.  Dude, you don't know a thing about customer service, may know a lot about insurance but working with people requires patience and lots of love for them and actually wanting to help them.  And that's speaking from my own experience as a car insurance CS!  So now I need to have the damage assessed by some place in Sacramento, and on top of it - which I didn't know - I have $500 deductable.   Yeah, right! Ha! And the reason I didn't know is because I used to be on my dad's insurance and dad put all our cars on mum's name and now - GET THIS - they insist on talking to the insurance holder, otherwise I'll be financially responsible for any damage I did to the other car I hit.  And the insurance holder is my mum, who not only can barely speak English, but lives IN POLAND now!  And I told the dude over and over, so he eventually agreed to have my mum e-mail them.  So I called mum, woke them up (time change, 9 hours difference forward!) and spoke with mum.  Oh, this is gonna be fun! :)  But in all reality, I may just get my front fixed up from a junk yard or something, just gotta find a new Yaris bumper in at least somewhat similar color and find people that'd do it for cheaper.  ;)  Which I'm sure I will.  Just not right now. 

My butt muscles still hurt, sometimes really bad.  That's from the final night of sleeping in a car, that really did me in.  It's like my muscles locked or something.  But I'm thinking that since I'm not working right now, it would be an easy thing to do Modern Manna cleanse, at least the basic one.  I may call them up and see if I can pick it up one day. 


So now I'll be off to the Lake!  I've been sitting all day, I'm aching to move.  I think I'll go running :)  And then Sabbath starts, ah, such blessed Sabbath rest!  I'm expecting a call from one friend, but whether he calls or not, well, we'll see.  Always gotta have plan B, right? ;)

Oct 18

I made it late to the Folsom Lake because I was wasting time on Facebook.  I got there by sundown, wanted to just walk and think.. met up with a friend for lunch today, we spent over 2 hours just talking, soooo much to talk about, and I needed to process all the information I've learned today.  And there was a lot! And before Daniela came over, I had a nice long chat with Kim, my other roomate, and I've learned a lot from her too, about the house, Dick and just living there, so I wanted to think that over as well. 


It's so very interesting that every person that I talk to (from the Cali people I know) they all want to know if I called Big Brother and told him I'm here.  And they all want to talk with me about him.  I, of course like it, but find it rather suspicious.  And somehow they all know some things about me, some bits here and there... things that pretty much only one Cali person knew....  something was happening here before I got here.  I shall investigate, but I think I know who's behind it. 


So I'm in the Park and it got rather dark... now, sundown and past that are my favorite times for walks, alone or with a hot guy next to me, lol, either way I love it.  And then I start seeing  alot of people either walking, running or biking with funny little lights on their heads.  It was making me laugh at first, but then I thought that at least they know where they're going, because it was getting almost pitch black there.  So then this older guy on a bike comes up to me and tells me that up ahead there is a rattle snake in the middle of the path.  So we ended up talking about snakes and we eventually poked them off the path.  Because there were two, it's their mating season.  Man, were they unhappy, rattling their tails at us and striking forward.  The guy had a snake stick though, so he was doing all the poking.  But now I understand why people wear little flash lights on their heads.  And I wouldn't make a step further without putting my flashlight on, I was so glad I had my phone with me with a pretty good flashlight app in it.  After that every twig and black spot looked like a snake...  I'll either get a little light myself or won't go there at night. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oct 17

I lied.  The Folsom lake is huuuuge, and there is no way to run around it as it changes into a wide river up north so I can keep on running and running and never get onto the other side.  Unless I hit a bridge.  But it's so gorgeous there, stunning, dunes, rocks, gnarly trees, horses, runners and bikers with cute butts... ;)  You can even go all the way up to the water.  I went for a run again yesterday but could only do 4 miles, I could not beat my muscles into obedience.. not yet.  Then I walked for another 4 miles.  Or climbed rather.  And the hills were killing me!  And so are my leg muscles today... It's so amazing there, especially at sunset!  Maaaan! :)  There is one place there that smells like cookies, I don't know what's up with that...

I've been super ancy about finding a job.  So I spent another pretty much all day looking, searching applying.. got little discouraged with the staffing agencies, each one I called specializes in staffing for jobs I can't do.  Until I finally found one that was willing to talk to me.  Had an appointment with them today morning :)  We shall see, God will provide.  I just pray that soon.  Big Mama promised to get me a whole list of staffing agencies!  She's so precious, she got me some things, we just gotta meet up together sometimes soon.  Bless her heart!!! 


The place where I live is most interesting.  It's in a middle of a city, I have half a mile to big shopping centers and yet the neighbor next to me keeps three cows in a large pasture (used to keep buffalos I've been told...) and a rooster keeps crowing in a distance from early morning to late afternoon.  The outside feels very much like country.  There are trees, tables, garden chairs, porch, clothes line, greass, a  garden wannabe... lots of squirrels and plenty of singing birds!  It's very dusty here too, my car desperately needs a wash.  And my pretty gray/pink terrain running sneakers, which I call Mudders will soon have to be renamed to Dusties. ;)  But anyway, I absolutely enjoy the warm and sunny afternoons outside, feels so relaxing, like a vacation.  Which is exactly what I need, after all this stress!

But somehow I don't have much time for relaxing.  I always have plenty to do, somehow... Still gotta do the DMV, switch my plates and driver licence to Cali, finish up dealing with insurance, defer my student loan, look for jobs (ongoing), edit pics (now that's fun!)... and one day fully move in.  If I could only get a bookshelf and some underbed storage I'll be a happy camper.  I have so many books, plenty of them still in the trunk because there is no room for them here.  Today I worked on organizing everything and finding places of all my things.  A number of things will simply have to live in bags...


Sooooo, it's been a week in California.  I'm pretty much moved in, I'm registered with a staffing agency... good progress.  Stagnation and monotonny kills me.  Progress and happenings keeps me alive.  God is good!

 



It just hit me.  Today would have been two years anniversary.  I gave my all, couldn't give anything more, couldn't push any longer...  Choices and Consequences. 

Oct 15

The California euphoria is slowly wearing off (good!) and reality begins to peak through. Been job searching, researching temp agencies and job fairs. The insurance job is no go because it's a higher end job with metrics. Let me tell you something about metrics: they SUUUUCK!!! And make your job beyond stressful. I know, I've been there for 4 years and it ruined my health significantly. Besides, it's clear that's not where God wants me. But I had to pray for peace and patience double today because it's so easy for me to get stressed out because of lack of employment. Cuz I'd want the job NOW! And God usually makes one wait, at least some. All in His time, He knows I need it, He'll provide and won't leave me lacking.


By now everything looks pretty normal and familiar around. At first all was weirdly little odd, different; the street markings, the lights, the houses... Now I'm happy I drive like I've been here for a while. And I know my area pretty good by now, and have some key stores mapped out in my head. The stores here are pretty much the same (best buy, sports authority, cvs, wallgreens, home depot, Macy's, etc, even michaels and Jo-ann) with few additions. There is Sprouts, something like Fresh Market in Willow Grove, pa, just not so pretty and smaller. There is something called Safeway which is everywhere. It's something like Giant on east coast, only it ranges from tiny roadside mart with a gas station to a huge store with lots in it. Ive been to a number of Cali grocery stores by now but few of them actually carry organic kale and carrots... I was rather surprised.

I've been trying to make my tiny little room a bit more girl friendly and livable. It's rather hard on limited budget, but I'm trying. I feel guilt though about spending money, on food, let alone of a door rack or bed comforter. I wish I could live on air right now... And I had to get two pots and a kettle of my own, plus a knife (so dull though, ugh!), cutting board and plastic drawers... I refuse to use Dicks grimy stuff, I'd rather starve than eat from his pots... And I don't want to mix his meat touching things with purely vegan. I even have my own dish washing sponge. But he finally understood that my Vitamix is for no animal products only. And he wants to try a green smoothie :).

I did quite a search online for a park around here. I'm not to keen on the area where I live. Too congested and no nearby parks to run in! I sooo long for open spaces and wilderness, but I have no rights to complain right now. So finally, I found the most amazing place to run: around the Folsom lake!!! It's about 20 minutes drive from me but it's so worth it!!! Went running toda! Humble 2.5 miles but that's a lot right now for my poor broken body... My hip, or rather butt muscles hurt so much sometimes. I would so love a massage or something. Nancy worked on my back, the right side and it feels loads better. But I'm still so tight everywhere, so broken and in pain sometimes... :( that's why I need to run again. Maybe I can resume training for half marathon (got to 8 miles before the hell broke loose) and eventually run one. We'll see. But the Folsom
Lake seems big on the map, but in reality is much smaller. One day im sure I can run around it full circle. And it's beautiful there, so many romantic spots!!!! Which make me little sad, but whatever, who needs a guy anyway, right? They all turn to any pretty face saying the same sweet things to each one. There, a bit of my frustration for you! I think I hear a poem coming on....

Oct 14

What a lovely time spent with Nancy in Hollister!!!!! We talked till we both nearly passed out, I got to try my hand at viola, Nancy played her guitar and I nearly cried... Had tears in my eyes, it sounded so beautiful and oh how I miss it!!!!!! Makes me tear up when I think about playing it, and how nicely I played years back and now I can't do a thing... In fact, I freeze up, when somebody hands me the instrument. :(. I so want to relearn it and yet I can't :( I may just die with the feeling of musical inadequacy and unfulfilled desires of romancing the instrument... Like loving someone that you know you can never have for yourself. Sad.

Anyway, it was a lovely time that I'll cherish forever. I will visit again! And three hours drive all of a sudden seemed like nothing comparing to the trip I just recently made :). And three hours is a long time to think, to remember other good Cali times, and to try hard not to think about certain persons that just keep cropping up :)

I had a huge owl nearly fly into my car on my way back!

Oct 13

Hollister area is just stunning! Beautiful mountains, looking like giant mounds of freshly poured out sand. A very lovely view! I am amazed at the variety of California's scenery. The state has pretty much everything, from flattest flats to hilly and rocky mountains to climb, from ocean beaches to snow skiing, from farm lands to deep forests with amazing aged sequoias... You choose and pick what you want! At this time everything looks rather burnt from the sun and there isn't all that much green left, but I still admire how this state is almost like a country of its own. There are some rather queer people here, lots of them fake looking, lots of pot, but they are also more relaxed and easy going, and generally happier. Could it be the sun? :)

Today was quite lovely weather wise. Lovely sunny and warm :).

I apologize for my dirty windshield, but I haven't had the chance to clean my car yet. Here is going towards Hollister, Monterey Bay area:

Oct 13

I don't think I got sad even once since coming to Cali. :). No sad, no lonely, no bored, no homesick... Noooo, it's been too exciting every single day, I'm like on some drug or something, high in happiness and excitement!

And today in church I couldn't even pay attention too much to the sabbath school, all I wanted to do was to give Sabbath hugs to every single person there and tell them I love them! I didn't know what was up with me, I was so happy to be in church and worship with other Christians! And I met some incredible people, some Ukrainian and Romanian people, exchanged phone numbers and hang out with the pastors wife and mum during potluck. Man, I'm so grateful for being fed (lol!!!) and we sat and talked till they started to clean up. Amazing people! They promised to take me hiking and show me some amazing mountain trails!

So now I'm off to Hollister to meet with Nancy and stay at her place overnight :). Oooooh, I'm so happy here!!! Or maybe it's just beginners excitement, life will probably find its course once I settle down more with a job and stuff... But life will never get boring, never!!!! :).

Aaaaaaaand, I got a lovely text from Big Brother last night, I am so happy he didn't forget about me.... :). Joy!

Oct 12

What a lovely day! Praise Jesus so much, because I have everything I need (and I believe I'll have a job soon too), I have food, bed, roof over my head, my car still works, I have money, and I live with lovely people!!!

And if I ever start grumbling, Lord please remind me all the goodness You blessed me with in the past and how You got me out of my life's mess!


It looks like I'll be visiting a friend this Sunday in Hollister :) 2 hour drive and sightseeing! I can't wait to spend the day with precious friends and see more of Cali!!! And I spoke with Pat Arrabito and got invited to the Calistoga church up north, about 2 hours also :). How lovely!!!!! :):):)!!!! I can't wait to meet half the California!!!!!! :)!!!!!!!


I'm really tired. Praise God for the Sabbath! Been cleaning, then unpacking all day. How is it that I could fit all my things into my car but now I can't fit them in my room???? I have a total mess here, books and clothes and DVDs everywhere... I have no room for them. :( Dunno what to do... I'm thinking of getting some shelves and some drawers. It'll cost money though.... Rats! :)

I finally got to know one of my lovely roomies, Irina. Absolutely adorable girl, nearly my age, we sat outside and talked for a long time today :). Precious soul!

Can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring :) going to roseville church which is less than 5 minutes away from me. :). Gotta start somewhere :)

Oct 12

The insurance people keep bothering me so early in the morning! And by the time I get around to call them back they're already closed! Darn time change! :):):) In fact, I really enjoy it. The days seem so much longer here.. I think it's fabulous :)

God's blessing me from the start!!!! He's so good to me!!! This morning I decided to sleep in but really couldn't. Got up and before having breakfast - which I couldn't have anyway, in all this dirt?? - I started a house clean up project, whether Dick liked it or not. Kitchen (which was the worst!), dining room, living room, hallway, the floor, fridge, the whole works. So I'm half way into the living room and he comes in, with eyes bulging out in surprise ). He offered to get me some cleaners, so I sent him out to get paper towels. Lol, and he went! Hahaha! But came back with two. I mean, come on dude! It took me over 3 hours to get it done but maaaan, the place is so much brighter! I saw Dick walking and looking around with a wild smile on his face. He said he never seen this place so clean. :). And I didn't even touch the blinds or his numerous fake trees, that would take me forever and I have my own trunk to unpack. And I didn't clean the whole fridge, just my area, and I wouldn't touch some of his appliance... I told him that some things I was just too disgusted to touch while pointing at the toaster, and at that very moment two of his toasts popped out of it. Ayayay... :)! But the floor is so lovely to walk on, I actually scrubbed the bottoms of my slippers after cleaning. :). And finally had breakfast. Which was more like lunch :)

So we did finances and I guess Dick was grateful for what I did that he dropped $200 off my deposit!!!! Wow! So nice!!! I mean, I wasn't trying to do any favors, it was just so unlivable...

And I'm still unpacking... And waiting for the Internet guy to call back so I can get into wireless on my laptop. Putting my clothes into my tiny room feels very much like packing the car before leaving... I need to use every nook and cranny available...

Aaaaand, where is that California sun, huh????? It's chilly out today.... :/

Oct 11

I've been exploring. One thing I know, the gas is expensive here. At least a whole dollar more than in the east coast. An that's a bummer if you want to explore the state and have no job. Yet.

I'm a little ticked off now because I'm locked out of the house. Dick never really did end up giving me the spare key, and it turned out everyone is out. And it doesn't matter that he leaves the garage open, there is no way into the house! Grrrr... But it's my fault, I should have gotten it before I left, should have known better... :(. Who knows, I may even have to sleep in the car... Again... Lol!!!! :)

So I've been driving around the area, getting to know the streets, stores etc.. Went down to rancho cordova and up to Roseville, looping around and visitong stores. Been out almost 5 hours... Soon I'll be Making my way around with my eyes closed :).

I have so much to unpack, so much to do, I can't stand wasting time... Unless its a quality time with a great buddy, then it can be wasted :) Praise God for technology, I can always call my lovely east coast people, I miss them.... And Nat will be visiting often!!!! :) Praying for good buddies here though :)

Ok, Dick is not answering his phone and I will not waste time! Off to whole foods then :)

October 11

A new day in California. Slept like a baby. :). I'm sitting in a parking lot watching the wind moving the tops of palm trees. There is a mix of palm trees and regular trees here... Some of the palms look like long pens with feathery tops.. :)

So I ventured out to drive around and familiarize myself with the area. Last night Dick took me for a spin around few blocks but it was already getting dark. So I'm exploring on my own. I need few specific shops and a park to run in. I need some things for the bathroom, cleaners... This place is unbelievably dirty, I can't believ people live in such grime! I spoke wih Jennifer today and she said no wonder this place is cheaper than most. Lol! I'll help them clean up, well, I'll have to because I will not buy any food until I clean this place up. I can't even touch a thing, a real, inch thick greasy grime!!! And there are two women living there! Well! Anyway, I just had subway and that will hold me for the rest of the day. And there is filtered water in the house so I'm good. I may even lose weight, which will be good.

I spoke with number of people today, some contacts in Cali, some from east coast... Got some emails, lots of texts. That made me very happy as it is easy to get lonesome and friendless in a new place. And I gotta keep busy! Which I predict I will be for the next few days!!!!! God is good!!!!!

And remember the lollipops with scorpions in them? :)

Final day

Im about to pass out. I think I've lost most of my senses, I'm so tired. But I'm here. I made it safely. I still can't believe it. :)

I couldn't wait to be done with Nevada. It got so boring, flat nothings. Just distant mountains And it took forever. I finally entered California and the scenery changed drastically. Mountain hills with pine trees all over! It was beautiful! I could imagine myself hiking these trails... Breathtaking!!!
In all other states, whenever I drove through mountains it was always in a canyon, with mountains closing in on both sides. Not Cali! Here the road took me to the very tops of the mountains, with most incredible views from high up top! What views!!! This was the most challenging drive of them all! I so wanted to see the scenery but really couldn't. The road was like a serpent, twisting left and right, very suddenly, taking me very high and daring to not pay attention... With deadly truth below! Plus construction areas everywhere! And there were little cabins on the sides of the mountains, and most gorgeous river down below, and train tracks that ran very close to the rocky walls... Again, stunning!

I made my way down the mountains, found my exit and found my place. The end of my journey. Or rather... The beginning.


God knows that I need two things: people around me and me keeping busy. With the transformation that took place in me I became a person that needs social interactions. I need people around me, to talk to, to chill together, do stuff. Otherwise I go nuts. And I gotta keep busy so I don't think and analyze and reminisce, thus get sad.

Dick was very nice and helpful! Brought Jim the neighbor who's electrician to fix my plugs. And took me around neighborhood to show me nearby stores. And made me a salad, because I havent had anything since noon... which I couldn't finish. I couldn't unpack yet. Poor car, mangled up face and I'm suspecting something's up with the breaks. I dunno... I can't type, I'm gonna pass out any second... What I really wanted to say that God is good, I thought I'll be miserable from the start but he brought people and things kept happening and I was busy all the time ... So much to do tomorrow... I need sleep. I think I have bed sores or something... Right hip huuuurts! Bed! Ivll write more tomorrow. Sleep...

And that's Wyoming:

Day 4

A little rest stop in the middle of nowhere in Nevada. My little Toyota is doing sooo good, despite her mangled up face :). We're climbing some insane hills and then fly a mile or two down on neutral :). What joy!!! And the sunrise was so stunning that I actually stopped on the side to take pictures and do a little recording :)! And the mountains, so grand, especially when they're so incredibly close! Nevada is certainly a sandy land.. I saw a gorgeous coyote run across the road, right in front of me :)

I also called parents in Poland while on the road and I give regular travel reports to a number of my friends. My brother just said I'm like a cheetah in a car :):):)!!!

So the rest stops on west coast are weird... The toilets are metal!!! With white plastic seat - I hope nobody sits on them! But going is like peeing in a metal bucket... Sorry, can't help it, it's just weird! There is a gray and long hair dude with a guitar in the parking lot. :). He looks like Willy Nelson :). I love it!!!!

And a bit of Nevada for you:

Day 4

Been up since 5am :). Good night, (little pokey from the break and seat belt buckles...) just seemed like I had less room to sleep. I was really scrunched, like a sardine, and I woke up few times due to hurting knees and pain in a hip. Well, what can I expect,... with the amount of room available, I'm happy that I slept through somehow and I feel rested.

I see dawn breaking far away over Utah. Faint but already pretty. Wow, how far I've come!!!!! I myself can't believe it...

Day 3

What a day!!! I crossed Nebraska, Wyoming and Utah!!!!! I'm on a border of Utah/Nevada, I'm so tired I can't drive anymore! I've been on the road since 7:30am and stopped only to get gas, which is 5-10 minutes at a time.

Nebraska: as flat as you can get, some parts to the point of boring. Other parts, simply fascinating!!! There is this wild west feel to this state. Barren, extremely windy and almost freezing. Small trees with twisted branches and very few leafs, a lot of dirt and brown grass... lots of bare tree trunks either still standing or fallen over and white from the winds. Every now and then there would be a surprise though, like a sculpture of a howling coyote on a rare hill.. :) Lots of cows, it actually stank of cow farms in many places. I almost expected to see a whitened skeleton of a cow or buffalo alongside of the road. That state surely has a feel about it. And I certainly felt the feel each time I had to fuel up!!! It was freezing, right through your bones freezing, and the wind whipped my hair about so that I could barely see what I'm doing. I chatted with one of the roadside store sales people. They say that's normal, and when it snows, it looks like a blizzard. :). Why would anybody want to live there???

Wyoming: that was something!!! Another very big state length wise, so it took me forever to drive through! It had plains too, but it was all different! Dessert like! And I'd drive for miles and miles without anything, no gas, no rest stop, nothing... Just bare flats and hills with dark green and small bushes in them, all over. Or sometimes just brown grass. All fenced up with very homemade looking fences :). I saw herds of small and adorable gazelles. First thought that maybe people raise them too, I mean who knows, but then I saw they are wild. So cute! All other roads I saw were dirt roads, with a wall of dust behind each car that went by. I generally tried to avoid human contact, because keys face it... I didnt look my freshest. My hair is a disaster!!! I desperately need a shower... Man, somebody invent a portable and foldable one that fits in a purse??? But anyway, I needed water so I stopped by this one small roadside store. What a quaint place!!! A tiny mart that sells everything, from guns to lollipops with scorpions in them (I got one as a souvenir) and plays old elvis songs. So queer.. But super friendly! Got to chat with the locals and suddenly, with my scarecrow hair I felt like I'm fitting in :). Lol!!! They call the plastic bag a 'sack' :)!!! As I was nearing the west side of the state, some rocky red mountains began to appear until they became the most amazing and stunning walls of rock!!!! And so incredibly close too! I could see the flood layers on some, and they had most fantastic shapes! Really grand, so much that I stopped to take pics of one. And stopping by isn't an easy thing there. The speed limit is 75 and most go 80 and up, as there is no police there; at least I haven't seen a single police car. My picture taking was mostly from the car, sometimes rather daring activity, for going 75 in a windy road, taking pics left and right and trying to stay in line was sometimes challenging :). The road was mostly straight, only at the end it got curvy and felt a bit like I'm driving in a canyon. Driving and sightseeing is rather difficult too. Especially when there is yet another and another breathtaking view with each turn... So the mountains were getting crazier and I went to Utah, and that's where the fun began :):):)!!!

Utah: what craziness!!!!! The mountains all of a sudden got covered with green stuff rather than being bare and red, and became sloppier rather than rough and sharp edged. But they also came so close together from both sides of the road, nearly claustrophobic! And the road was elevated with canyons on each side and extremaly twisted. With everyone going super fast it became a life size roller coaster!!!! I was beginning to get concerned and actually slowed down considerably, and stopped taking pictures. Didnt care for the gorgeous scenery anymore, I just didn't want to go over the ramp and fall who knows how deep... It got really crazy! And we kept climbing too! And finally, one enormous climb, where my car had to slow down to 50 to keep on climbing and I put it on 4th gear to help. The moment we got on top a most wonderful sight appeared, as if from a christmasy postcard from Switzerland! Among the mountains a village appears, with all houses looking like snow cottages and all other buildings like ski lodges. I wonder if that's what they were actually, because all the billboards were about skiing. But all resembling log cabins, with that specific architecture! And it was dusk, so the lights were already shinning and the sky was reddish and purple. A perfect idyllic picture. It was only lacking snow! :). But I'm glad it had none, because past the village we began another crazy roller coaster down the hill. And I almost got scared. And all the messages about chain tires and deaths and the break checking station didn't help either. It was an insanely steep flight down!!!! And the surface was weird too... Made my breaks act funny. Stunning scenery (still claustrophobic grand mountains on both sides!) with blood pumping experience. I just couldn't understand why everyone goes so fast down that roller coaster.... So then I hit salt lake city, which was another sight to behold... Amazing! And I drove right along side of the lake for a little while, which actually eventually became a drag and it sort of stank... Hmmm. Anyway, I'm full of today's grandiose sights and adventures. Tomorrow I'll have the joy of going through Nevada, entering Cali and meeting Dick and my roomies in person :).

And here is a pic of Nebraska plains:

Day 3

Wonderful night, slept right through with just few waking ups due to hurting knees. Which is understandable being so squished :). But I wrapped myself in a blankie like a cocoon and I'm so rested now! Been up since 6am central but I like to snuggle... :). And daydream :).

The day is breaking, and time's a wastin' so up up up! :). It's freezing outside though.... Wash my face, brush my teeth and go :). I'll leave my hair alone, this department is already unmanageable, I already look like a scarecrow so what's the difference :)

Off we go into day 3! :)

Day 2

I think I've had enough adventures for now, let me just get to cali asap :). And safely!!!!! I'm not gonna top Jimmy's 3 day drive, I'm actually half way there, so I'm counting it a 4 day trip :)

I'm very tired... Found myself a little quiet rest stop, and I'm hoping for a better night than last. I left Illinois, went past all of Iowa and I'm nearing central Nebraska now. Progress is good :).

So there was lots and lots of work areas right before Iowa, and unfortunately I had a car accident in one of such places. I wasn't speeding, went with everyone else, but suddenly they all came to a stop and even though I hit the breaks, I didn't have enough time to break completely and hit the car in front of me. It was a horrible experience! The mind is such an amazing thing, it works faster than seconds!!! In split seconds all I could think was break! Break!!!! And then, next split second I heard my tires screeching, saw smoke and right then in my mind I accepted the fact that I'm going to hit a car. I just saw it happen! And it did. Lots of noise, and the smell of burnt rubber, which I can still smell. Everything in my car went forward, everything shifted, things started falling, bags fell forward, all my fruits went to the ground... I think something hit my head... I lost my phone, and I didn't know what was going on for some time... It felt like I hit the car with a huge force, especially considering how heavily loaded my car is. I was expecting my front really bad, at least half front squished in... But I came out and was shocked! At first glance there was no damage visible. So it turned out that the other car's bumper got cracked in just one place, one crack. Will still need to be replaced though.. :(. My car's pretty face got mangled up too, a lot worse than the other car, but considering the force, it's not that bad. Many broken pieces chipped off, cracks and dents but that's it. There was an accident right on the other side so the officer with a funny ranger hat came right over. :). My first car accident and first ticket in 13 years... Ever since I started driving. Guess there is first time for everything :)!

Of course I was ticked off about it, dunno why God allowed it to happen, if it's a lesson I need to learn then I'd like to know what is it, cuz I don't really know... But I'm praising God that He sent angels to watch over me and nobody got hurt and the damage is just bumpers (so I hope!!!).

So I had my adventure, which I would have gladly forgo. But the rest of the day was rather dull scenery wise. Iowa is almost entirely flat state with cornfields left and right. Nothing else, if you don't count advertisements for cowboy boots and notices of how much I'll pay if I hit a street worker. Iowa police is smart too... Their cars are tan, and blend very well with the environment. See, the only colors here are brown and orangy tan. Even if there are some green areas, they have golden tint to them... All seems burnt here. And sooo flat!! The only thing that's amazing are the sunsets!!!! The clouds and colors kept changing every 5 minutes, thus painting incredible pictures over and over. Truly amazing sights! As to the cornfields, I don't know but driving around them kept making my eyes super tired and watery. I thought I was tired, went to rest but couldn't sleep cuz I wasn't tired. It was the corn. It felt like there were things in the air, bits or particles of some weird dust... Probably Monsanto's Roundup floating in the air, poisoning everything around.. And I know cuz when I passed the corn some time later and the fields were all grass my eyes cleared up and weren't tired and hurting anymore.

Passing Omaha was most amazing! Gorgeous sunset mingled with all the city lights, with street lights positioned really high it looked like thousand little pearls on a dark purple and orange background. Most incredible sight!!!! :) there is a pic of passing Omaha below..

So the second day is winding up, I'm all tucked in. I wonder what will I see tomorrow. Praying for safety foremost!!!!!

Day 2

Beautiful Sunrise in Indiana. I have a farm to my right and a tractor trailer to my left, which wasn't there yesterday. Nobody woke me up, nobody knocked on my window asking me to move... Nice :)

So sleeping in a car in a sitting position is rather a horrible experience... Till 3 am I kept waking up, almost every hour, I was wrapped in a blankie but ended up soooo freezing cold that I had to turn the car on and blow some heat in. That's when I was able to fall asleep. I was dreaming the craziest things... But even then, the hand break kept poking into my ribs all the time. But if I didn't have that on, I'd end up in the nearby ditch. :) And now something is furiously beeping in one of my bags lol!!! I'm thinking it's my iPod deck but I can't get to it... And how, it's not plugged in! I hope it dies soon or I'll go mad! :)

The plan is to freshen up, eat, feed the car and be off to Chicago ASAP! Ah, the power of portable make up! From the life I've been leading lately I've learn that having most basic make up with me all the time is essential! Never know where I may end up for the night so be prepared. All in the purse :). Comes in handy now, since I can't easily get to my things...

I've learned few traveling rules so far:
1. Always keep good distance, especially with loaded car and in rain (pa had plenty of rain!)
2. Never let the fuel gauge go below half. You never know when is the next fueling station, and some are closed too.
3. Be in tune with your body and know when you're sleepy. There is only so much you can push, at certain time driving becomes dangerous.

Ok, time to get rolling :). And here is farm sunrise in Indiana:

Day 1

How is it that I always end up on the fast lane? :). Going 75-80 is so natural to me and the car does wonderful; we're flying :). I pushed to get to Indiana and I'm going to do a little shut eye here, at a truck stop. The lights are a bit bothersome, and I'm super squished here but I'm really tired. Crossed from new jersey through the whole Pennsylvania and Ohio in one day. I'd say that pretty ok. Wish I was in michigan already... Somehow I just to want to get there. My last rest stop was about 5 hours ago in Ohio, took me an hour to do all I wanted to do, but it felt like a waste of time. Time in which I could be driving. But you can't go against nature. I was pretty hungry by then, so I feasted on Ruth's avocado, artichokes with garlic sauce , some homemade granola and I needed some hot chocolate for awakeness. I know it's not healthy... Those few days I'll tough it out. But the food was great, so grateful! Wish I had some of the sweet chestnuts we had for breakfast today... Never had them before and their other son Jimmy was teaching me how to eat them. I couldn't believe that all I ever used them for was making animals - mostly horses- with the help of matches :).

Ohio roads were fantastic!!! Smoothest ever. And clean. Pa's part was littered with poor road kill. I think I saw a young bear, it was big, black and furry. Poor things...

I think that by the end of this trip I'll be a master at butt and back exercises. Been inventing loads :). And it's really the very lowest back part that bothers me sometimes as I sit for so long.

So here it is, my first night in the car. Indiana's truck stop, pillow under mu head, wrapped in a blankie (pa and Ohio been soooooo cold!!!! Had heating on all the time!), squished up, but so thankful to God for leading me safely this far!

And here is a pic of the Ohio truck stop:

Day 1

Central Pennsylvania! Amazing! Mountains and mountains all around, with all autumn shades imaginable!!! Stunning scenery, hard to keep eyes on the road! And the sky is so low the clods almost touch the peaks of the mountains!! Incredible sights!!!!

So I finally hit 80, and this is already my second fuel up stop. Somewhere in the middle of nowhere :). I see cars with all sorts of plates, passed one Cali car and I almost waved to the dude. My range of motion, however is somewhat limited. I really have very little room here, just enough to drive. But I'm good, I adjusted the side view mirror so that now I see my right side and that helped loads! Now I can cruise!!! :)

I've been promising to myself and everybody around me that with such loaded car I won't go faster than 70. Lol, tell that to my foot, it wants to go 80. I think my foot wants to get to Cali more than my brain and heart want! But I can imagine it'll get extremaly boring eventually so yeah, off we go again, the brain, the heart, and the foot, led on! )

Day 1

I never thought I'd be so happy to see a toilet!!!! Honestly! One hour into my journey and what do I need already? A bathroom break despite running there three times before leaving. I got off turnpike NE extension some 5 miles to find wawa, no bathroom there do I ended up going to those fast food places asking for bathrooms. I figured this may present a slight problem. May need to drink a lot less water, just enough to survive. :)

So my dearest Ruth packed me so much food for the road that I don't think I'll be getting anything for quite a while :). And snacks and fruit... And garlic!!!! Yes, two bulbs lol!!!!!! :). Such precious people, we prayed together before we all left...

So this is it, I crossed the commodore Barry bridge into PA and I'm on the road! Rainy and ugly it may be, but I'm very much awake now :)

Tomorrow - technically today

Soooo.... :)

Where to start? My car. Incredibly loaded. No reclining, no back view at all. Need to rearrange things on the passenger side so that I can see the side mirror. Hard without it.

Said some nice long goodbyes with Pete this morning, he stood on the street an waved to me as I drove away. So nice! I'll miss my brother. I really will!!! But he said he'll visit me soon :).
I was very anxious about driving without side mirror but I did fine. An hour drive to Mullica Hill new jersey was uneventful; with my limited side vision I made sure I stayed on the right lane and didn't go more than 70mph. Not too comfy but doable, but I really need to change things around in the car.

So today was amazing Sabbath with Ruth, Charlie, Jon and a little bit of Jimmy, who had to rush off to a wedding. Went to the riverbank to watch the sunset. So beautiful!!! That was a bit tough not having anybody to snuggle up with. Sunsets are definitely one of the most romantic things ever and they should not be watched without a loved ones. That's my theory.
Anyway, all of us decided that garlic is the best defense against any pervert that might come my way. I'll just give him a nice, hearty and breathy hello from the start :). That's why we had artichokes with garlic dip for dinner :). I may hang few garlic bulbs in the car as well :)!!!!!!

But I'm so grateful! I've been given a lovely dinner, comfy bed, pj, shower stuff, everything I needed and then some!!! Thank you Jesus for putting such amazing and kind people on my path.... God's been so good to me, I have no proper words of gratitude!!!

So everything I own is in my car. This is going to be interesting :). I made myself a little driving nest so to speak, with everything within my hands reach. All needed things are strategically placed in the car. And for the next few days that's gonna be my home. Wow, I can't believe where I ended up in life... But no matter where I'll be, as long as Jesus is with me I'll be fine :)

Tomorrow

6am and I can't sleep anymore. Could be the fact that I fell asleep after 9pm last night from exhaustion or could be excitement. I can't even snuggle. I love snuggling, for hours if I could.. Heart pounding, brain spinning... Too awake. Too many thoughts.

I'm spending the Sabbath with my favorite family (except my own that is!) in south jersey today, I'll be sleeping at their place overnight and leaving from there.

Shower time.

2 days

I'm in bed, sipping a calming tea. Praise God for the Sabbath rest, or I'd still be running around....

So today's packing day was just as crazy as yesterday. I have few little things to load tomorrow morning and I'm done! I'm DONE!!!! :). My car's back is so low that I prefer not to look at it. The trunk is so filled you can't stick a finger in there. And I'll have technically no back view. Why did I clean that back view mirror? Dunno :). And the back of the car... Well, I did everything I could so that I could recline at least some for sleeping, but once I load up tomorrow Im not sure if I'll be doing any reclining... And no crawling on top of things either. No room.

I took my loaded car to New Jersey today, had to send a package to Poland and do ten thousand other things. The drive was so different. So low to the ground, seemed more stable and smoother. I like to feel my car, interact, and it talks back. It feels the weight, and I think it tilts to the heavier right side.
Also did my final laundry. Never did such mismatched load: two towels, two shirts, one sweatshirt, a pj, bottom bed sheet that ive been wrapping myself with for the past two months and one lone sock, on a principle ;). No time or money (quarters to be precise!) or laundry separation. Been running around sweating like a wild pig, trying to get everything done before the sundown. Because it had to be sunny and humid today :). It was the order that took me a while to complete, but came out lovely :). Silver baby booties with black soles, with a black tree on one side with pink, silk flowers with a tiny pearl in each flower. And a baby hat to match :). Shipped :).

And my creative defense against showering truckers wives is dry shampoo! Ha! Found one in riteaid. Among other very important womenly things for the trip.

So I'm ready to pass out. So exhausted!!!!!!! Pimply and headachy. Sore feet-y and bleary eye-y.

3 days

I am E X H A U S T E D !!!!!!!!
So exhausted that I'm actually in not so happy a mood right now. I got soooo much done. Car is loaded up almost completely and I still have stuff to pack. I don't know how I'll manage. I already had to leave a number of things behind, making myself believe that I'll be back for it soon.

I was hoping to make a lovely pile of clothes in the back seat so that maybe I could cover it all with a blankie, crawl on top of it and have a good night sleep, all stretched out. But the way things are going there will be no room for me to crawl into... Im not looking for luxuries, I've slept on a bare floor before, but I haven't slept sitting up yet. That won't be much of a sleep... I have to get creative here because lack of sleep will not only be dangerous, but also I'd like to be in a happy and positive mood rather than grumpy. I'm sure I'll be teased about the Walmart parking lots on the Sabbath :). I am absolutely going to sleep in parking lots, I'm just a little concerned about washing my hair and the like. I don't want to meet my roomies looking like a winded scarecrow... I can't really splurge on a hotel, I can't do that, the money already start disappearing from me, and I will not stay in some creepy motel in the middle of nowhere. I won't fall asleep, I'll be much safer in my car ready to fly any second. Showering next to trucker's wife at a truck stop? That's a good question.. I chose my departure date very carefully so that I won't have any.. Ummm... Ahem, surprises, but still! Creativity, go to work!

And I'll go to sleep. I woke up this morning with a dream about family of 10 frogs fresh in my head. But I don't want to go to sleep with the 'old maid' thing haunting me again. Praise God it's not up to me! Positive thoughts, prayer, talking to Jesus always gives hope, yes, Hope, so good night till tomorrow. :)

3 days

3 days left. 

Packing my car is a very strategic activity.  Every nook and cranny has to be used up and filled.  This requires planning.  :)  And so my trunk is almost completely filled.  I"m suprised that nearly all of my books are already packed, the more I go the more possible it all seems to be.  But the time flies like crazy and I have a long way to go.  Little break with some nettle tea and back to the grind of packing. 

I've been mapping my way to the I-80.  Technically it will be a trip from coast to coast, because I'll be leaving form New Jersey.  I am staying at my friend's place overnight :)  I've loaded up my kindle with books to listen to.  Also asking Pete to make me copies of some stuff for the trip.  I don't want to go mental there on the way, I may as well start talking to myself... which I already do anyway, lol :)

4 days

Last day at work has come and gone.... Last two hours I barely got anything done. So many hugs and good luck wishes!!!!! And pictures :). I almost cried! I got the most beautiful card signed by everyone, and I mean everyone!!!!! So much love!

And so I left. Last day of work at Grundy. Last day in this area. Last bit of shopping, last visit with Jennifer my psychologist in an hour, last glances at the familiar streets and buildings. I sit in the parking lot of a store and almost don't want to move. Just be here few moments longer. Savor the Horsham air for the last time. Tonight I'm going back to Bristol and the cranking up begins. The madness, the insanity. The excitement. Almost. No tears. No need.

So that's my life story that for the first time I have a job that I truly like and enjoy and I leave it on my own accord. Oh the irony! :). Now I go to look at myself from the distance, like at someone else's life and watch what happens. It's not me, it's her, that girl in the mirror, and her life is about to become interesting. :) Can't wait to see where God leads :)!!!

4 days

This is it.  I've reach the point of no return.  It is happening.  :):):):):)!!!!! 

I can't sleep. I have pre-travel jitters already. I'm too excited, little anxious, my head is spinning and I'm beyond exhausted. Sometimes I think I must be mad, completely out of my mind to do this... But then I tell myself that that's the ONLY way. And that's the ultimate truth. At this point, there is no other way. The path is laid out, and soon I'll be running on sheer faith and gasoline.

5 days

I'm sick of sitting here at work, my butt hurts, but I have so much to do! I want to completely clear my desk before I leave tomorrow. 

A buck for organic avocado at Fresh Market yesterday, that's a deal I've never seen around here.  They had 15 left.  I got them all :)  That will set me up nicely till the end of the week, don't want to spend much on food, rather use up all the leftovers... I was invited to stay my final night at Ruth's and Charlie's in south jersey, I'm seriously considering it.  I need to check if it's ok with Pete, my brother, but it'll be nice to have a nice bed to sleep in for a change (the couch is getting to me, two days ago I woke up with a very stiff neck...), and it'll be fun too, since their second son will be visiting from Cali.  That would mean that the last day to see my brother will be Saturday morning, rather than Sunday morning. 

I have phonecalls I need to make today - parents business.  Then go and get boxes for my yarn; I have over $500 worth of yarn stash.  Some of it got accidentally thrown out during the move, including my pompadoodle yarn :(  So I may ship it, I dunno... I don't do much with it right now.  I have one final order to make and ship, this will be painful because I absolutely don't look forward to it. 


I should be going home.. I don't even know why I'm still here ..

11pm

Productive, that's what I like :) 
Progress and moving forward, otherwise stagnation kills me.

Managed to go through most of my things, bags, threw things out, rearranged and reorganized.  Not all, but most.  Which means once again I won't be able to find anything in the morning...  :)  But some things I simply won't give up, I won't, even if I have to strap it to the exhaust pipe of my car and drag it behind me all the way.  And with other things, I simply force myself to break the invisible line of attachment and memories. 

I feel accomplished.  In a short time too...what, one hour :) once again this proves I can absolutely do well on my own schedule.  I can sleep in and lounge one day, and tomorrow I get done three days worth of things.  Hear that, corporate America?! It'll be a blessed day if I ever get to leave the 9-5, but nonetheless, I'm greateful for anything that comes my way at this point.  I'm not worrying though, not after all the Divine miracles that happened.  Impossible. 

Managed to visit a precious friend after work for some Cali drooling and goodbying.  Good times, will be missed much.  Talked to another friend from Cali today on the phone, and we were going over all the churches in the area I'll be staying :)  Been listeing to Ivor Myers at work today, who says to surround yourself with people on fire, and so thus I intend to do.  As to finding these people, I'll leave that to God. :)


It's been cold lately.  Flip flops won't do anymore.  All my cool weather clothes are packed up.  :/

6 days. 6 days!  :)     

6 days

6 days left :)

And 3 days left of work.  So I'm whipping out endorsements, munching on Ruth's baked apples and getting really ancy to do something constructive.  All of a sudden I was hit by the realization of the amount of work before me, wishing I could postpone it another week or jump right over it and fast forward to Sunday.  How 10 days all of a sudden became 6, I thought I had time!?? 

Yesterday I went to visit my adopted sister and her family in north jersey... last time for a long time.  She lives right by I-80, the road I'll be taking.  As I passed it, I was very tempted to hop on and steer west, right then and there.  Almost irresistably tempting! I had my camera equipment and studio lights with me, we had an amazing day hiking, doing photoshoots and then playing studio shoots in the dorm lobby :)  Even if I won't get any photo shoots in Cali at first, I don't think I'll be complaining about having nothing to edit.  Took a while to upload all the Raws last night, but the pics came out amazing!!!

I also realized I'll be able to experience fall twice this year!  My favorite season :)  What a blessing :)  As I drove up north (2 hours one way) the more north I went the more fall I saw.  The golds, reds and browns, woods, mountains and numerous horse farms... upper jersey definitely has its charm.